Respect for parents: Why respect for parents is earned

Many parents want their children to respect them. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents feel entitled to respect their children. Most American parents demand respect, while doing next to nothing to earn it. The fact of the matter is that respect for parents is earned, not handed out on a silver platter. All the good things in life are earned, including respect from children.

Respect for parents is spelled out in the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parent in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This secure rest refers to a secure attachment between parent and child. This secure attachment allowed for children to advocate their needs. All of this secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents give to their without receiving. Children owe their parents nothing in return for their parents caring for them.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking or punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women in the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children in his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords as a form of punishment, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were hated largely for being "too soft" on their children. 

Respect for parents was earned during the first 6 years of a child's life. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were quartered next to each other in the nude, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. When at home, children either were held by mothers - in her arms or in a papoose bag - or else ranged next to her if they were older. When mothers were out and about with children, the young child was swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. In both public and private, mothers breastfed their milk-dependent children, with milk-dependence lasting usually until age 3 roughly, but sometimes until age 6 or older - when the child pushed away the nipple. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers, in skin-on-skin format. This co-sleeping lasted until the child reached the onset of puberty, which was when children wanted their own place to sleep.

This optimal conditioning is what led to children respecting parents later on. Children naturally and automatically cooperated with parents. The ultimate act of surrender for a child is to give back to their parents, as a reward for doing a good job. True respect in parenting is earned, not handed out for free on a silver platter. A child is less likely to argue with a parent who gives their children optimal conditioning from day one.

Children started rebelling at around age 6, but in a pleasant way. The children, in that stage, want to prove their independence by helping out around the house. It is a sudden shaking off of parents, where children start practicing doing things on their own, and going places on their own. The very last thing children did on their own was sleep in their own bed, due to the maternal warmth and comfort that came with co-sleeping.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the evee-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!