Righteous ordering: Why children call the shots in Christian homes

Many parents think that they issue the orders, and that children should obey the orders issued by parents. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents insist that they are in charge of their child's needs. The fact of the matter is that righteous ordering means that children call the shots in the family home.

Righteous ordering is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believer rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This form of surrender to parents comes with strings attached for parents, meaning children can demand from a restful place what they need, oftentimes when the parents aren't pulling their weight.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages and offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were hated largely for being "too soft" on their children.

Righteous ordering means children call the shots in terms of what they need, and by extension, what they want. Parents were under the divine authority of their children, meaning that parents had to both answer to their child, and obey the every command of their child. Whenever a child issued an order to a parent, parents had to obey the lawfully binding orders of children, with few exceptions. The only times a parent could righteously disobey the orders of their child is if the orders issued were either unlawful and/or unworkable. Children could take their parents to court if the child perceived that parents disobeyed at the wrong time, and if the court ruled in favor of the child plaintiff, they could divorce their parents. When parents took their child to court, the council always ruled in favor of the child.

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children issued orders by way of crying. Whenever a child cried, it was interpreted as a lawfully binding summonses for the parent to respond immediately. Mothers were, in most cases, the ones that responded to the tender, vulnerable needs of a young child. Various needs needed to be met by mothers, but the greatest of these needs were attachment needs, meaning maybe the young child just wanted to co-sniggle with mothers. Another common need for children was breastmilk, meaning children often were seen in the streets of Greek and Roman cities suckling the teat of Christian mothers.

Later on in childhood, children were more uppity in their attitude, insisting on doing things on their own. Whenever a child needed something from a parent, however, they issued lawfully binding orders directly, by barking orders in the face of their parents, giving their parents the morning breath treatment. Children called the shots, and parents could only refuse to obey the orders of children if the orders were immoral and/or unworkable. Otherwise, Christian parents were required to make it work somehow, if only by compromise. Christian parents then did make compromises with their children, or else cave to their children completely.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!