Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this passage isn't a spanking verse

Many parents still believe in punishing children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents support child punishment based on what they see in the Bible, usually meaning what their pastor, minister, or priest points out in the Bible. The pro-spanking argument, however, hinges on shaky ground, with their main passage being Hebrews 12:5-8. The fact of the matter is that this passage was not even intended, in any respect, as a spanking passage. The fact of the matter is that the passage in Hebrews was intended to comfort a persecuted group of Christians.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons, for what son is he that the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, are ye bastards and not sons.

This passage is definitely written to a Hebraic audience, for reassurance purposes. The Hebrew Christians were being persecuted by the Romans, and Paul wanted to give them some reassurance. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigóo) and refers here figuratively to the 40 minus 1 lashes. Ultimately, this is an incidence of rod language in the Bible. In the Hebraic languages, you wouldn't say "I had a hard day at work" but instead would say "God whipped me hard today". God whips His children, like only He can. God only whips His children when it does no harm. Earthly parents only whip their children when it does do harm. 

God can whip His children as He never makes any mistakes in doing so. Earthly parents should instead do what comes natural, meaning attachment parenting, since they will never be able to chasten up their children like God does. Ultimately, Heb. 12:5-8 has nothing to do with raising a child. Raising a child is simply a vague example as to how God sends trials and tribulations towards the elect. Fathers did chasten up their children, but in a nurturing way. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This surrender to parents came with strings attached for the parents, meaning that if children wanted something in return for resting in the arms of their parents, parents were lawfully required to provide, except when the orders from the child were immoral or unworkable.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords when punishing their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were hated largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The standard of Christian discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in relation to their children. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught emulating the disciplined example of parents, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught being good, whereas girls were given snuggles when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning that parents could only offer advice as needed, or else counsel their children when upset. Otherwise, parents were under the divine authority of their children, and were to obey children with few exceptions

Children who were disciplined in an encouraging way had to be motivated by something. That motivation came from a secure attachment. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin format. Whenever children cried, mothers were right there, reassuring children by cooing to them and picking them up, then holding them next to their bosom in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. When out and about, young children under age 6 were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. When children cried in public, they were held closer to the bosom of mothers, with mothers cooing at them. Whenever children were milk-hungry, they were breastfed by their mothers, even when mothers were summoned to breastfeed in public.

Discipline from our Heavenly Father is different than proper discipline from earthly fathers. Earthly fathers are not to imitate God in their discipline by whipping their children, as only God whips His children without damaging them. They are to set a good Christian example for their children. Then, when they catch their children emulating their example, they are to reward the child with praise and encouragement. The more praise and encouragement that a child receives, the more they are going to do the right thing in order to please their parents. A good thing to start praising children for is patience and self-control. But, in order to do work on your child, you first need to do work on yourself.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!