Change of heart: How to effect a change of heart in children (without punishment or force)

It is the core goal of American parents everywhere. Most American parents want to see a change of heart in their children. A change of heart can happen at any age, but under my faith tradition, the change of heart can only lead to baptism once the child is an adult. Most American parents want a change of heart in their children, but feel the only way to do so is to punish their children.  

A change of heart is best effected in the context of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Parents are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and is to submit as such. This surrender to parents came with strings attached on the part of parents, with children resting securely while issuing righteous demands from that place of rest, usually when parents weren't doing their part around the house.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral stature prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians at the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Paul may not have gotten along with women, but he sure loved children, and he took in orphaned children. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were hated largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught emulating the Christian example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise from fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given snuggles and physical affection from fathers when caught being good. Children sometimes needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents can only give advice when needed, or else counsel children when they are crying or upset. Otherwise, children held divine authority over their parents, issuing lawfully binding orders from their place of rest.

Children, like us all, were born in sin. This fact is not up for debate. However, the fact of the matter is that children don't need their original sin beaten out of them. Children are capable of self-improvement all on their own, once guided by a good Christian example. That Christian example involves the chastening of the Lord, with parents taking up the attitude that they are deserving of absolutely nothing due to their sinful nature. This leads to parents looking around, and being grateful for absolutely everything. Children are watching and copying your every move. When you catch your child following in your footsteps and being good, praise and encourage them for their good behavior. Children will absorb good behavior from your example in increments, in which case every increment of good behavior should be praised and encouraged.

What motivates children ultimately to follow in the example of their parents? Children need to trust their parents, in the form of a secure attachment, first and foremost to mothers, and secondarily to fathers. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever a child cried or was upset, mothers cooed at their child before picking up the child, then holding the child next to her bosom in skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance. From there, the mother diagnosed the need, and met the need. When out and about in public, children were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format. This co-sleeping occurred until the child reached the onset of puberty, which was when children wanted their own place to sleep. When come were milk-dependent, mothers breastfed their children to sleep most times, especially come nightfall. 

The abovementioned paragraph denotes the necessary type of nurturing up close that mothers can give their children in order to ready them for their religious education. Fathers started out the religious education by leaving an open Bible for a child to find and study. When fathers caught their child studying the Bible, the child was lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious education was an ongoing discussion between father and child, with fathers and children comparing notes, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. All of this religious study, as well as a disciplined example, let to a child having a change of heart.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!