Friday, September 29, 2023

Toddler temper tantrums: What to do about toddler temper tantrums

Many parents, if not most, have dealt with it. A 2- or 3-year old kicking and screaming, either at home or in the store. Most American parents think that it is okay to punish a child merely for having a temper tantrum. The fact of the matter is thar temper tantrums are not bad behavior, and are deserving of warmth and sustenance.

I threw a lot of temper tantrums when I was a child. I was given time-out, which was perceived as stonewalling and possibly false imprisonment. Relatives say that it was like pulling teeth to get me to even sit in a chair quietly. Ignoring or punishing temper tantrums don't work. 

Toddler temper tantrums are best dealt with using the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, where the child surrenders into the loving arms of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This word does, in fact, denote secure rest, but in a way that a child can expect anything they need in return, as well as hold their parents accountable if the child thinks that parents aren't pulling their weight. Parents are to submit in a way that expects absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in his original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, Greco-Roman parents used the scourge of cords on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Christians were hated by greater Greco-Roman society for being "too soft" on their children.

Toddler temper tantrums in biblical times were not common, at all. That is because 2- and 3-year-olds were not considered stationery children. Children under age 3, in the Early Church, were constantly held by mothers, and nursed to health by way of mothers breastfeeding. Toddlers were seen in biblical times as babies, and were treated like babies. When mothers could not hold their toddler directly, they strapped them to their back in a papoose bag. Toddlers did cry, but they cried silent tears, for only their mother to hear and respond to. Mothers responded by seeking to diagnose the need of the child, then meet and validate the vulnerable needs of children.

Attachment parenting was the way of parenting for the ancients, including the Early Christians. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, with mother and child being in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Children under the age of 3 were commonly held and breastfed, with that breastfeeding period sometimes going on until age 6. Most children pushed away the nipple by age 3. Mothers went in the nude in the family home, and this was to please both her children and her husband. 

Toddlers were seen as babies in biblical times. Even with children old enough to eat solid food, they ranged next to mothers, going from room to room in the apartment, seeking the presence of mothers. When mothers went in another room to take a break, that break was shortened by the cries and shrieks of separation anxiety of the child. This separation anxiety lasted until age 6, when children started insisted on doing things on their own. When children want to do things on their own, be sure to teach them how to do it safely, instead of discouraging their natural curiosity by slapping way curious hands

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Any comment that
1. Endorses child abuse (including pornography of such)
2. Imposes want to the point of imposition, meaning entitlement.
3. Contains self-entitled parent rhetoric, to the point of self-victimization

will not be published. Flexible application. Debate is allowed, but only civil arguments that presume the best of intentions in their opponent, on both sides.

Righteous co-sleeping: Why God wants parents to sleep next to their children

Many parents think that co-sleeping is the irresponsible choice for a parent to make. This is a common attitude from American parents. Most ...