Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this isn't a rod passage

Many parents support punishment as a means of dealing with a child's behavior. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents support the use of punishment in parenting. Most parents punish their children for religious reasons. Most Christians who punish their children cite several verses in the book of Proverbs, and one passage in the book of Hebrews. All of the popular pro-spanking arguments hinge on Hebrews 12:5-8. But, even Heb. 12:5-11 has nothing to do with a parent punishing a minor child. All of the rod language in the Bible references judicial corporal punishment, not domestic corporal punishment.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 

I personally find this passage comforting, when coming to the correct interpretation. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers to judicial corporal punishment under the Old Testament law, namely the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. The Early Christians did not practice judicial whippings or executions, and the Roman scourge of cords was shunned by the Early Church. Therefore, the mention of scourging must be figurative in nature. In the Hebraic languages, rod language is used as a descriptor of enduring hardship. In Israel, you wouldn't say "I had a hard day at work". Instead, you'd say "God whipped me hard today". God whips His children, as only He can. This means, literally, that God sends trials and tribulations the way of His children. However, God only whips His children when it isn't harmful. Earthly parents only whip their children when it IS harmful. Earthly parents, due to this curse, must use natural parenting, meaning attachment parenting, in bringing up children. 

Hebrews 12:5-8 is not about bringing up a child. The passage in Hebrews is instead intended to comfort Hebrew Christians concerning their persecution from the Romans. It is a passage about how God disciplines His children. Human beings are not God, and so they cannot possibly discipline their child like God does His children without harming or abusing their children. The Bible does have passages that are about parenting, and these passages prohibit the use of punishment and reprimands in parenting, when understood in context. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, and then children followed suit. Children in the Early Church were caught being good, instead of caught being bad. Whenever children were caught emulating the Christian example of parents - such as by showing self-control or giving up something they really wanted - they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep going down the straight path". Boys were rewarded with manly praise when caught being good, and girls were rewarded with physical affection such as hugs and snuggling when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction from their parents. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents were only allowed under Christian ordinance to give advice and counsel their children, and maybe pleading with children if parents wanted children to do a favor for them. Parents, while the child still lived in the family home with them, were under their children's divine authority, and thus could not issue lawfully binding orders on their child. 

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness with their mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. When children cried, mothers cooed in order to reassure and validate the child's upset, then holding children close to their bosom in mammary closeness. When out and about in public, mothers swaddled their children close to their bosom in swaddling blankets. Children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, and co-slept in this way until the onset of puberty. Children under age 6 had limited contact with their father, as they were very protected next to their mothers. Mothers were the primary caregivers of children in Christian homes in the Early Church.

When children turned age 6, they were handed over to the providing custody of their father for religious education. Fathers left a Bible out for the child to read, and then the child taught themselves how to read on that Bible. From there, the religious interest and self-study of the child was cultivated by encouragement and praise. Children otherwise had free reign for the last 7 years of childhood, venturing farther and farther from home, playing outside freely (after checking in with mom). Fathers bonded with their children by way of righteous masturbation. When fathers masturbate righteously to sexual thoughts of their child, they depress the sexual instinct of their parent, with their sexual drive for their child instead coming out as a male nurturing instinct. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!