Attention-seeking behavior: Understanding the root causes of attention-seeking behavior

Many parents think that attention-seeking behavior is to be either ignored or punished. Most parents first ignore the attention-seeking behavior, and then punish it if it continues. This is a common punitive parenting tactic used by American parents. The fact of the matter is that attention is a core need for children.

Loving attention towards children is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating their children as quartered slaves. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Attention-seeking behavior was not a reason for parents ignoring or punishing their children in biblical times. Attention is a core need for children. Children's needs fall neatly into five categories; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these is attachment! Attention is a core attachment need for children.

Parents in biblical times simply gave children loving attention when children demanded it. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness with their mother, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup brought out raw separation anxiety in children, where children were afraid of mothers "going away and never coming back". Mothers reassured children by giving them loving attention. Mothers cooed to both reassure the child of their upsets, and validate them so they feel heard. 

In most cases, children cry out for attention because they have separation anxiety. They morbidly fear the demise of their mother, and that their mother will "go away and never come back". Most separation anxiety needs in children go unmet in this country, due to our punitive parenting norms. If children are allowed to have separation anxiety in the raw, the cry is a deathly cry that no loving mother could ignore. Most mothers in biblical times reassured cries for loving attention by holding their children close to their bosom in mammary closeness.

Children under age 6 are still babies. The righteous infantilization of children holds that children under age 6 are to be treated as infants, and be cradled as babies until they squirm out of the loving arms of mothers, and insist on becoming as independent as possible. A baby cries out of nowhere because they need attention. All children work the same way. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Weath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!