Separation anxiety: What to do when a child seemingly "cries out of nowhere"

Many parents have dealt with it. A young child crying "out of nowhere". Many parents make the mistake of punishing or reprimanding the child for his/her crying. Most parents don't understand that crying is a communication of needs. Children between the ages of 0-6 have special attachment needs, meaning they are prone to separation anxiety as a normal developmental stage. 

Separation anxiety is solved by parents following the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul as lifting up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to their mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. Mother and child were in a state of birth nudity, meaning mothers and children were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup brought out raw separation anxiety in children, where children were deathly afraid of mom "going away and never coming back". Mothers accommodated the crying by reassuring their children, in so many words, "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere". Mothers responded to the cries of separation anxiety by picking up the child in skin-on-skin format, and engaging in skin-on-skin co-snuggling. 

When mothers were out and about, children were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. From there, the young child was tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress that mothers wore, that resembled an apron. The swaddling blankets were tied to the left breast of a mother, then across the dot to the right leg of the mother, or vice versa, or both in the case of twins. Swaddling blankets were made of velvet, which was grown throughout the Ancient Middle East. Mothers breastfed their children in public if summoned to by their child.

Most cries that are random, in young children under age 6, are due to separation anxiety. They don't need punishment. They need YOU, and to know that YOU are going to be there for them. They are worried about you, in a pro-social manner. The idea is to reassure children with your sustaining warmth that you are going nowhere.

Most cries of separation anxiety in today's society are repressed due to punishment, and so the cries only come out once and a while. When these cries are in full steam, they sound deathly, in a way no mother can ignore. The idea is to listen and validate to these upsets, and provide skin-on-skin warmth and sustenance, This reels out the separation anxiety, and takes care of the need. 

All too often, parents think that when a child appears to be crying for no reason, that there is no reason for them crying, except maybe to "undermine" parents. The fact of the matter is that children never cry to "undermine" parents. They cry in order to communicate vulnerable needs, usually attachment needs. There is always a reason for a child crying, and that reason often has to do with separation anxiety.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!