Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this isn't a rod passage

Many people in America use physical and other forms of punishment on children. Most of the punitive parenting in America is religiously motivated. Many parents cite the Bible as an excuse for abuse when punishing children. The main argument that holds the pro-spanking argument together is Hebrews 12:5-8. However, this argument is made in error. There is no evidence that the Apostle Paul intended Heb. 12:5-8 as a spanking passage.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, are ye bastards and not sons.

This passage was written to a specific audience that was Jewish in terms of cultural background, for a specific purpose. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers not to the scourge of cords under Roman law, but to the 40 minus 1 lashes under Jewish law, in a reminiscent type of way, as the Early Church did not use corporal punishment in law enforcement, and forbade parishioners from partaking in Roman floggings. The 40 minus 1 lashes were being referred to in a figurative way, in a form of metaphorical language in the Hebraic languages known as rod language. In Israel, you don't say "I had a hard day at work" but instead say "God whipped me hard today". This passage was intended by the Apostle Paul as reassurance to the Hebrew Christians in their persecution by the Romans, and was not intended by Paul as a parenting verse.

God whips His children, like only He can. God whips His children by sending trials and tribulations their way, like only He can. However, God only whips His children when it doesn't harm them. Earthly parents only whip their children when it DOES harm them. Earthly parents, due to this crutch - a part of their sinful nature - they are to bring up their children with natural parenting, meaning attachment parenting. The passage in Hebrews has nothing to do with bringing up a child. There are passages in the Bible that deal with parenting directly. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul as lifting up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in the footsteps of parents. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, instead of being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught emulating the disciplined example of parents - such as showing self-control or giving up something they really wanted - they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep going down the straight path". Children were otherwise allowed to be themselves, with crying and temper tantrums being reassured and comforted by mothers. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to direct parental instruction. Parents were not allowed to issue lawfully binding orders on children, and so parents pleaded with their children, asking for favors from the bottom of their heart, expecting absolutely nothing in return, knowing they'd get nothing in return.

Christian attachment parenting is the way to raise a child. Christian attachment parenting is attachment parenting based off of the Early Christian context. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. Mother and child were in a state of birth nudity, meaning that mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup brought out raw separation anxiety in children, where they were deathly afraid and in tears about mothers "going away and never coming back". Mothers reassured children, in so many words, "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere". For the latter 7 years of childhood, children were in the providing custody of their fathers, where they were encouraged in their religious self-education, and were encouraged in showing discipline and taking an undeserving attitude towards life. Mothers nurtured up close, and fathers nurtured from afar. Fathers struggled with parent attraction to their children, and most fathers dealt with this parent attraction through righteous masturbation. This made the parent attraction come out as a male nurturing instinct. Fathers nurtured boys by giving them manly praise when they were caught being good. Girls were snuggled with and cuddled with when they were caught being good, with the permission of the mother.

Heb. 12:5-8 is not a rod verse. I personally find the passage to be reassuring, particularly when dealing with hardship. God sends hardship my way in order to chasten me up, and the more hardship I endure, the stronger I am. It is like an inoculation. I, when I become a parent, want my children to be inoculated like I am from hardship. But, I am not God, and so I cannot act as God when raising a child. I am the servant of the child whenever a child is in my care. They place their order, and I serve them like waitstaff. That's how parenting is supposed to go with earthly parents. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!