Righteous reassurance: How to reassure a crying child

Many parents think that a crying child is deserving of punishment. This a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that a crying child deserves punishment, and that the child that is crying and carrying on is "undermining parents", hence the "need" for punishment to "deter" the behavior. The fact of the matter is that the way to deal with the tears and carrying on of a child is righteous reassurance. 

Righteous reassurance is a concept that takes place within the context of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your child to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of parent submission. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, including the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Righteous reassurance denotes how a child should be taken care of when they cry or otherwise are upset. There is a certain procedure that mirrors the mutual submission aspects of parenting. When children cried in biblical times, mothers responded by going to the child, and cooing while picking the child up. Usually, the child was right next to the mother - attached at the hip - with both mother and child naked next to each other in birth nudity. The birth nudity ensured that children got adequate skin-on-skin time with mothers, which happened a lot when the child cried. The developmentally-appropriate separation anxiety was fully exposed in children the Early Christian church communities, and so children might cry simply in order to be held. Children usually grew out of this separation anxiety phase by age 6.

Cooing is a natural response in mothers and fathers alike when a child cries or is upset, and it should be allowed to happen. Whenever children's cries are met with cooing on the part of the parent caregiver, the crying dies down, as cooing is how you reassure your child that they are listened to. In biblical times, mothers also said "this too will pass" in a reassuring voice, particularly in the rare instance that they said "no" to a child. The Law, as interpreted then, required this kind of reassurance whenever a parent had to refuse service with a child.

Children rarely threw temper tantrums in public like they do today in biblical times. That is because young children - up until age 6 - were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Young children were breastfed in public whenever the child was milk-hungry, or else was simply wrapped up close to the bosom of mothers for warmth and sustenance. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!