Father's Day: The duties of Christian fatherhood

Happy Father's Day to all fathers out there! Many in our society think fathers aren't supposed to nurture, but are supposed to be disciplinarians. This is a common belief amongst American fathers themselves especially. Most of the time, it is the father stepping in and insisting children have "discipline". Fathers do have that role in disciplining children, but they should do so with love and gentleness towards the child, meaning a father should never punish his children. Fathers nurture from afar, while the mother nurtures from up close. 

It says in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was convicting a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, to modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian fathers in biblical times centered their entitlement in view of their children, and then their children followed suit in following their parents' disciplined example. Children were caught being good in biblical times, instead of being caught being bad. Whenever children showed discipline - perhaps by controlling themselves or giving up something they really wanted - they were lavishly praised and encouraged by fathers to "keep going down the straight path". Children were otherwise allowed to be children, with childish and immature behavior being excused and maybe even responded to by mothers as a cry for assistance. Sometimes, parents needed to give children direct instructions. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to direct parental instruction. Fathers even could not issue lawfully binding orders to their children, as fathers - like mothers - were subject to the rule of children. Thus, parents pleaded with children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, knowing they'd get nothing in return. Most of the time, children listened to parents anyway, because they were securely attached to their parents. 

Fathers, in biblical times, had limited access to children, meaning they could not be in providing custody of children except with the permission of mothers. Younger children, meaning children up until age 6, were completely in the care of their mothers, in the form of birth nudity, with mother and child naked next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Young children were in constant closeness with mothers, following her everywhere throughout the house. When out and about, mothers swaddled children next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, breastfeeding in public if summoned to by her child. After children squirmed out of the loving embrace of mothers, they were handed over to the custody of their father for religious instruction.

Fathers knew when it was time to start religious instruction with their children. Parents left out a Bible where the child could find it, and then the child learned to read on that Bible. From there, fathers praised and encouraged the child to study further, and then come to their father with their findings. Religious instruction in the Early Church was a fact-finding mission, where children scoured the Scripture and then talked about what they found with their fathers.

How should a man approach a child respectfully? By default, fathers should remain on formal terms with their children, with the mother being the one on casual terms with the children. This means no speaking to the children except when children address you, and even then, only to the degree that children want to talk to their father. The exception to this rule is when children "break the ice" and seek casual conversation with their father.

All fathers have a repressed attraction to their older children, usually their older daughters. This isn't something to deny, but something to face head on by following the sexual thoughts about your child to the end through masturbatory fantasy. The Greek root word denoting lust in the New Testament is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not to ordinary sexual desire, or even sexual desire for children, but to, in this context, adult sexual entitlement. Adult sexual entitlement is defined as, officially speaking, sexual wants from children, to the point of sexually motivated approach. When you masturbate enough about your sexual fantasy about your child, you will come to an end where the fantasy becomes stale, and if you can't get to that point, you are a pedophile. Men who are aware of their sexual drive towards their children are more nurturing than men who repress it.

Fathers are to be secondary nurturers of children, with mothers being the primary nurturers of children. The man of the house is the primary nurturer of his wife, meaning the mother of his children, and he is to take care of the mother by submitting to her dutifully and selflessly, expecting absolutely nothing in return. This shows to the family what nurturing is, including to the mother, who then nurtures and dotes on her children. A man is to bring up his wife like he would a daughter, meaning without any punishment or controlling demeanor.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!