"Benign" deprivation: Why "benign" deprivation is unbiblical

Many American parents support the concept of "benign" deprivation. "Benign" deprivation is a facet of punitive parenting where children are deprived of most all of their self-advocated needs, apart from "what they really need". I was abused in the name of this parenting concept. So were most children in this country. The fact of the matter is that "benign" deprivation is unbiblical, as the Bible commands that the child's every vulnerable need be met by the parent. 

"Benign" deprivation is a violation of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment in the family home between parent and child. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, with parents expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal slights perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Parents in biblical times used attachment parenting as a means of bringing up their children. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, the child went with her. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, with mothers and children in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin format. Mothers responded to the EVERY cry of their child, not just the cries that they wanted to respond to. 

Mothers in biblical times responded to the every cry of a child by picking them up and co-snuggling with them in skin-on-skin format. Mothers, when in public, swaddled children up until age 6 next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. When children cried, they were held closer to the mother's bosom, with the mother perhaps breastfeeding in public if need be. Children, while swaddled to their mothers, cried silent tears. 

"Benign" deprivation is when you deprive your child of self-advocated needs - usually by crying - and then only give them what they "really" need. This is the most common way that children are abused in America, and it usually a parent, with that parent usually being entitled on the level of laziness. I myself survived lawful child abuse in the form of "benign" deprivation. When I complained too loud, I received a disciplinary spanking "out of love" of a few swats with an open hand, to a clothed bottom. Even that was enough to mess me up, and make me terrified of parents for life. I only trust gentle parents now, as they give me hope. The other parents can burn in Hell for all that I care. My parent abuser apologized, and I forgive, but I will never forget what it is like to pinned to a bed and struck. His calm demeanor creeped the heck out of me. I don't even remember what I did, and the memory I have today is hazy because I had to put my experiences with lawful child abuse behind me. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!