Parent anger: How parents can kick the anger habit once and for all

Many parents think that they have the right to get angry with their children. Most American parents think that anger should drive their parenting, including some gentle parents on the parental rights side of the children's rights debates. Anger is seen by many parents as their backbone, yet they use that backbone to defend rights that they don't have as parents. True parenting is not guided by anger, but by worry and concern. 

It says in Matthew 5:21-22 KJV:

Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whiosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

Christ here is comparing anger to the murder that comes of it, condemning unrighteous anger itself. The phrase "without a cause" refers to anger outside of righteous judgment. Children were deemed sacrosanct in terms of righteous judgment, meaning children could do no wrong in the eyes of the Law, even if children did do things that were considered wrong. A child could not be judged for anything, at least not while they were children. Children were seen as vulnerable extensions of God, called to judge righteously the charity and generosity of adult-kind. Children could not be prosecuted by parents or other adults. Children could sue parents, or issue lawful orders towards parents. Ancient Jewish society, including the Early Church, was a child worshipping society, not a child enslaving society. 

Parent anger comes from a deserving place in the sinful nature of parents, where you as a parent feel deserving of things from your children. Parents need to take up the declaration that they are a depraved and entitled sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, merely for existing in relation to children. When you have an attitude adjustment, and take up the attitude that you are a sinner and that you are deserving of absolutely nothing from your child, you will demand nothing from your child, and you will be grateful for the every joy that your child brings you. Most of the time, we get angry when we feel that we deserve things from others. When you lose that deserving attitude, you lose the anger, including parent anger in relation to your children. This elimination of parent anger centers your whole entitlement. 

Parenting, in the biblical tense, should not be guided by anger. Christian parents in the 1st Century were not guided by anger, but by worry and concern for their children. They still could get angry at other adults, but not children. Most parents in biblical times were devoid of parent anger, in any form or expression. Even fathers were devoid of parent anger towards their children. Parents worried a lot about their children, and felt concern for them, and that worry and concern guided their parenting decisions. 

Imposing parent anger, at all, on a child, was seen as parental entitlement. Parental entitlement is denoted in the Bible by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés), with this word being defined as in the context of parental entitlement, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Once that imposition of want, usually in the form of parent anger, leads to offense, it becomes child abuse under God's Law. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any and all punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holdng your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Parent anger, in and of itself, is a moral crime against children. Any time you offend your child with your anger, either by punishing them or trying to control them, you are entitled, and thus are guilty of sin. Sometimes, parents downright punish their children, and that is just wrong. Any time you impose your wants onto a child, you are committing the moral crime of parental entitlement. Most of the time, parental entitlement comes out in the form of anger. Parenting shouldn't be motivated by anger, but by worry and concern.

The core of parent anger is deservances, meaning the parent feels that they deserve things from their children, when they deserve absolutely nothing from their children. Children aren't always going to give you, say, the "respect" you feel you deserve, and then what? Do you throw a temper tantrum? Parents in this nation need an attitude adjustment, and need to lose the attitude that they deserve things from their children just for birthing them. Things like respect are earned from children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!