Hebrews 12:5-8: Understanding why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Most parents think the Bible condones the punishment of children. Most parents cite a set of passages in both the Old and the New Testament that speak of either a rod or of scourging. The passage that holds together the pro-spanking argument is Hebrews 12:5-8. When understood correctly, this passage can be a comforting passage.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons, for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 

The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers, in the Hebraic context in which it was written to, to the 40 minus 1 lashes, in a reminiscent way that only the Hebrew Christians receiving this epistle would relate to. What is being referred to here is the chastening of the Lord, meaning God whips His children, like only He can. In modern Israel, when speaking Hebrew, you don't say "I had a bad day at work", you say "God whipped me real good today". This is called rod language, and it is figurative language pertaining to trials and tribulations that God sends to His children, like only He can. God only whips His children when it isn't harmful, whereas earthly parents only whip their children when it is harmful. God wants earthly parents to bring up their children the natural way, meaning attachment parenting. The Early Christians did not practice the 40 minus 1 lashes mentioned in this passage at all. Apart from a few men spanking their wives as agreed-upon domestic discipline, corporal punishment was non-existent in the Early Church. Hebrews 12:5-8 was intended to comfort the Hebrew Christians, who were enduring persecution from the outside Greco-Roman world.

The passage in Heb. 12:5-8 was not intended by God as parenting advice, but was written to a specific context, and can be applied today as mere comfort when having a bad day. There are passages in the Bible that govern parenting. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor of a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with kidnapping being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. 

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The standard of Christian discipline in the Bible is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church sought to center their entitlement, and then their children followed suit. When children were caught emulating the disciplined example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged by fathers to "keep going down the right path". Children were caught being good, instead of being bad, and were given the positive consequence of praise and encouragement, such as when they show self-control or give up something they really want. Children were not disciplined by fathers with punishment and harshness when they did something wrong, but were caught being good, and praised for doing good things. Sometimes, children needed direct instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to parental instruction. Parental instruction was not legally binding, and so parents instead requested favors from their children, from the bottom of their heart, hoping children would listen due to a secure attachment. All Christian parents in the Early Church strived for a secure attachment with their children.

Children are sinful human beings, and this objective Truth is not up for debate. But, that sinful nature is for them to work on, and not for parents to punish. Children are capable of self-improvement on their own, and simply need guidance from a trusted parental example. All parents have to do is focus on their own sins, and children will emulate that behavior and focus on their sins. When they see you declaring yourself a depraved and entitled sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, they take up the same attitude. Children won't center their entitlement right away, but they will try if they like you enough. They will keep trying to keep it together until they succeed to be disciplined like the parents that they adore. 

Children need to be motivated by a parent in order to heed and emulate their disciplined example. Children, for the first 6 years of their life, were in constant closeness to mothers, never leaving her side. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, meaning both mother and child were naked next to each other, which made it easy for mothers to engage in skin-on-skin closeness with their children, and hastened the bonding process between mother and child. When mothers were out and about, they swaddled their young children by wrapping them up next to their bosom in swaddling blankets, possibly breastfeeding in public if the child was milk-hungry. When children were around age 6, they started squirming away from the intimate closeness of mothers, venturing places far away from home, playing outside with neighborhood children, but then retreating once more to the sustaining warmth of mothers in the form of co-sleeping. Children generally co-slept next to mothers until they hit puberty, which is when they wanted their own space to sleep. Fathers also nurtured children, but from afar. Fathers often had parent attraction to their children, and used righteous masturbation to purge unrequited lusts about their children. 

Hebrews 12:5-8 is not a rod passage, as the rod depicted is a figurative rod that only God holds. God does whip His children, but that is because God is Sovereign, and knows how to whip His children without damaging them in any way. No human being knows how to punish a child in that fashion, and that way of punishing children will never and can never be discovered by adult-kind. Due to the sinful nature of adults, parents need to atone for their humanity by using natural parenting, also known as attachment patenting. Parenting should not feel like a God-like endeavor, but something servile towards a child that means everything in the world - a slave that values his/her master. That's all a parent is to God when in human form. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!