The Fifth Commandment: What it truly means to honor parents

Many parents believe that they are entitled to being honored, meaning praised no matter what. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents want to be honored, and so they usually demand it from their children, threatening punishment if they don't get their pompous praise. The fact of the matter is that the Fifth Commandment only provides minimal lawful protections to parents in terms of preventing elder abuse, and otherwise, simply appoints parents as a lawful head of household. 

The Fifth Commandment is stated in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This commandment, in terms of specific protections to parents, only provides limited protection to parents. The verb "honor" here means do not dishonor, meaning do not commit honor offenses against parents. These honor offenses are the parent protection laws, which state "do not strike your parents", meaning do not repeatedly beat your parents deliberately (see Exod. 21:15), and "do not curse your parents" (see Lev. 20:9). Apart from that, all other obligations were on parents. The reason for the parent protection laws was that adult children were paying parents unwelcome visits and either beating and/or gaslighting their parents to get what they want from them. When parents reported the offenses to the religious authorities prior to the parent protection laws, they were suspected of being abusers themselves because of the excuse for the elder abusers of "they must have learned it from somewhere". Apart from these narrow definitions of elder abuse under the Law, parents have no protections apart from what is afforded to them in the secular laws. All of the protections go to children, with parents simply being a God-appointed head of household. The parent protection laws only penalize adult children who live away from home, meaning the abuse has to be deliberate and in the form of an unwelcome visit. Otherwise, only the secular law can protect parents.

The Fifth Commandmnent is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Early Christians practiced attachment parenting, and a type called reverse policing. Reverse policing is where you regard your child with the same reverent respect that you would the police, and obey your child when they demand a need or benign want. The Early Christians viewed their children as far more significant than they were as adults, because of the child's vulnerability and not despite it. Parents had reverent respect for their children, and were easily convicted by their cries. Children, to the Early Christians, felt bigger for being smaller in stature.

Children were in the providing custody of their parents, primarily of their mothers, and secondarily of their fathers. Mothers formed a secure attachment to their children, and did so by providing for children nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness with their mothers. This started with mothers constantly holding babies, either in their arms or in swaddling blankets, and then young children frequently wanted to be held, with both mother and child in the nude when at home, and children being in the nude always until adulthood. After age 6, or around there, children started to explore more, venturing further and further from home, playing outside with friends from the neighborhood, then retreating back to mothers once more for closeness, with mothers serving as home base for children to recharge for the next day. Home base usually came in the form of co-sleeping, but also came in the form of any sustaining warmth and embrace. 

Children owed absolutely nothing to parents, and parents owed absolutely everything that they had towards their children. Older children especially policed parents in the reverse, even using stophands to stop their parents when they wanted parents to stay in place, perhaps so they know where their parents were at all times. Separation anxiety was a normal part of a child's development in biblical times, and often came out in policing mode when children thought parents were endangering themselves, especially with older children. Parents were usually conditioned to be startled and shaken by a stophand from their child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend in to the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!