Crying: Why crying is normal and not bad behavior

Many parents have to deal with it. All children cry at some point. Crying is the number one cause of punishment in America. Most parents punish their children in some fashion for crying, especially with older children and boys. Most parents punish today primarily using time-out, but maybe with the occasional disciplinary spanking. The fact of the matter is that crying is normal behavior, meaning it isn't bad behavior. Children communicate through both crying and whining, as their language skills are usually underdeveloped.

Crying is dealt with, in Christian homes, in the context of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

In biblical times, children were in constant closeness to mothers for the first 6 years of their life. This started with mothers holding their babies constantly, never isolating them in cradles or cribs, and sleeping next to their babies by night. With this setup, babies could be easily tended to and comforted when they cried. Sometimes, they needed a nap, sometimes they needed their napsack cleaned, sometimes they just needed loving attention. When children got older, they still wanted to be picked up by mothers. Mothers and children went in the nude when at home, with children constantly being naked until adulthood. 

When children cried, in biblical times, they were immediately comforted by mothers, usually in the form of skin-on-skin comfort. Children were immediately picked up when they cried, and held against the bosom of mothers in mammary closeness, with mothers whispering to children "this too will pass". Children cried silently when in skin-on-skin warmth with mothers, and then went to sleep in her arms.

Today, crying in children can be dealt with by way of, when at home, disrobing, and inviting the child to disrobe, and then embracing the child with both of you in the nude. This should lead to silent crying, and then the child falling asleep. From the first time you try skin-on-skin comfort, you will know that such is how a mother should respond to her child crying. You can head off to a good start as a mother by holding your baby constantly. Then, they will constantly want to be held as young children, and you will never regret holding them.

Children don't cry in order to willfully annoy or undermine parents. They cry in order to communicate a need. All children cry for the same reason an infant cries. They need something, and feel they can't get what they need without crying. They are looking for mothers especially to respond to their tears, and respond in a warm and caring way. Crying gets your attention as a parent, and that is the evolutionary design of crying - crying is designed to get the attention of a child's caregiver.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke not your children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!