Temper tantrums: Why temper tantrums are not bad behavior

Most parents have to deal with it. Most children engage in temper tantrums, to some degree. Most parents think that temper tantrums are deserving of punishment. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most parents punish temper tantrums, sometimes physically. The fact of the matter is that temper tantrums are good behavior, not bad behavior, and thus parents are to understand when their child is throwing a temper tantrum. Children cry and tantrum in order to communicate vulnerable needs to parents. 

Dealing with temper tantrums is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek roor word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in his original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Whenever a child threw a temper tantrum in biblical times, mothers responded to the tears of their child, every time. No crying child ever went ignored. Children who cried and tantrummed were given skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance, with mothers cooing as they provided skin-on-skin reassurance. Mothers and children were naked in the family home, with children being naked wherever they went. Child nudity is a large part of Christian attachment parenting, with child nudity making it easier for Christian mothers in the 1st Century to bond with their children. Children under the age of 6 were in constant closeness with mothers, never leaving her side, being wrapped up in swaddling blankets next to the bosom of mothers when out and about. Child nudity in the home allows for parents to properly form a secure attachment to children.

How do you apply the abovementioned context? Allow children to run around the house naked, and play around the house while naked. Clothe them when they go out and about, but allow them to be naked while in the privacy of their own home. Mothers are recommended to go naked themselves. When children are throwing a temper tantrum, mothers are to hold the upset child to their bosom in skin-on-skin format. When out in public, find a public restroom, and tuck the upset child under your shirt. Children should be reassured with the words "this too will pass".

Temper tantrums are not bad behavior. They are a way that children communicate their need. Never ignore a crying a child. Even if they just need attention, give them the attention that they want and need. All children cry and throw tantrums for the same reason an infant cries - they need love! So, why not attend to the every cry and tantrum of a child with sustaining warmth.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!