Righteous pampering: Why children need to be pampered

Many parents think that pampering children is a bad idea. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents do not want to pamper children. However, the Bible encourages parents to pamper their children. Children need to be pampered, at least every once and a while. But, why not all of the time?

Righteous pampering is part of the greater Christian doctrine of mutual submission in parenting. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishment of children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

In the Early Christian church communities, children were pampered by their parents. Also, parents wanted to be seen as pampering their children. Children in the Early Church got most of what they wanted, and all of what they needed. Mothers, from day one, held their babies all of the time, never putting down the baby, or at least keeping the baby within eyesight. 

Children, for the first 6 years of life, were in constant closeness to mothers, never leaving her side, with children being wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, perhaps letting the child suckle her teat if milk-hungry. Mothers and children were both naked when at home, with children naked wherever they went. Mothers cooed as their children cried, reassuring children that "this too will pass". Come nighttime, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin fashion, with both mother and child in the nude, laying in bed.

Christian attachment parenting is unique in its stress on child nudity and the nudity of the mother. When borh the mother and children are in the nude, mothers can more easily bond with their children in skin-on-skin format. This sort of living setup hastens the bonding process in terms of secure attachment. It is also the ultimate way to pamper your child.

The Ancient Jews wanted to be seen by those around them as pampering their children. In modern American society, parents are embarrassed when they are "too nice" to their children in public. In Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church, it was the opposite. A crying child was comforted immediately, even in public, and young children were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Some children were wrapped in swaddling blankets to the back of their mothers. Christian homes in the Bible were some of the warmest homes in the Roman Empire.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!