The pro-social infantilization of children: Why this is key to resilience and strength later on

Many in the conservative community that I call home want children to grow up to be tough and strong. This is a common sentiment amongst conservative Christian parents. Most American parents want their children to grow up resilient and tough, but think that the key to toughness in young adults is punishment in children. The fact of the matter is that children need to be infantilized as young children in order to grow up to be strong, resilient adults. Pro-social infantilization, pro-social home base. 

The infantilization of children takes place within the context of the Chtristian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the love and grace of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Mothers in biblical times provided for their children nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. This sustaining warmth from Jewish and Christian mothers in the Bible led to children being infantilized in terms of their complexion. For the first 6 years, children remained in constant closeness to mothers, ranging beside her when in the home, wrapped up next to her bosom in swaddling blankets when outside the home. Once children reached age 6, they started to roam around and explore their world, playing outside with other children with the supervision of parents or other adults. But, even older children went back to mothers at some point, with mothers serving as home base for children. Children, when in close contact to mothers, regressed into an infantile state, and this is what we mean by pro-social infantilization - children cried more, but with crying leading to comfort, much like if they were infants. This close, sustaining warmth recharged the child's energy levels to the point where, one day, they'd be independent from their parents as a mature adult. 

Usually, when children have that period of closeness with their mothers, they can more easily take on independent tasks later on in childhood. It is a sudden push, around the onset of puberty, to shake off the closeness of parents, and more rarely seek comfort with parents. Children, as they got older, then start insisting on doing things on their own, in an incremental way, until they are doing everything on their own. With autism, they learn how to be independent in this very way, but they learn a lot slower than most children, due to developmental delays.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!