Respect: Why parents need to earn respect (not insist on it)

Many parents think that they deserve respect from their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents insist on respect from their children, feeling that they are entitled to respect just for procreating. The fact of the matter is that parents need to earn their respect from their children. Otherwise, they are depraved and decadent sinners deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to children. Not even respect.

Respect for parents is a valid concept, but is earned in the context of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. In this mutual submission relationship, parents bear the burden of proof, and are to prove themselves as worthy by providing for their children. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch and speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who broght their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children, up until age 6, never left the side of mothers, ranging next to her when at home, clinging to her when crying or upset. Children who were crying or upset were treated to skin-on-skin comfort, and reassurances of "this too will pass". When out and about, mothers wrapped up children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets, possibly offering to suckle her teat if milk-hungry. By night, mothers co-slept next to children in order to form a secure attachment with them, and also to protect them from all predatory threats, including the sexual entitlement of fathers. Fathers also formed a secure attachment to children, by way of witnessing skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy between mother and child, then wanting in by way of a sexual attachment. Fathers then imprinted on the child through masturbatory orgasm. This pro-social fantasy about the child on the part of the father led to a closer relationship between father and child. This was usually a playful or silly type of relationship, where fathers were dragged around like human ragdolls. Mothers were the more serious parent, but in a warm and gentle way.

Respect for children was a concept in biblical times, but didn't refer to compliance or fear of punishment. Respect for parents in biblical times meant closeness to parents. Children payed respect to parents by being close with them as children, and by way of giving back to parents in some way as adults. This closeness was a child resting in the wake of the good works of their parents, with parents expecting absolutely nothing in return from children. The concept of making children be compliant as a form of respect was non-existent in biblical times. Children respected their parents by keeping a close friendship with them, usually marked by skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy on the part of children towards mothers, with fathers standing by and standing guard with a rod and staff. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!