"Honor parents": Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents think they are entitled to respect and obedience from their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents want to be honored, and make entitled demands for honor and respect. Most parents extend the term "dishonoring parents" to children doing anything the parents don't like. The fact of the matter is that the Fifth Commandment does not refer to anything that the parent disapproves of, but a narrow list of offenses known as honor offenses against parents. Other than than, the Fifth Commandment simply appoints parents to a position of care and providence.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

In context, this commandment specifically refers to honor offenses committed against parents, namely the parent prorection laws. The commandment "do not strike your parents" (see Exod. 21:15) means do not repeatedly and deliberately beat your parents. "Do not curse your parents" (see Lev. 20:9) means do not administer a gaslighting curse to your parents and send them on your merry way. The Fifth Commandment, when cross-referenced directly in the New Testament, lifts up these moral laws, and makes them relevant to all mankind. The reason for these specific laws, which simply reiterate existing moral statutes under the Law, is that parent victims of elder abuse were not believed in Israelite times, and so there had to be a specific commandment to honor parents, so that victims of elder abuse could be believed. The courts did not take cases of elder abuse seriously before God handed down the parent protection laws.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offenses perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby being treated as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing when outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children, up until age 6, never left the side of mothers, ranging next to her when at home, clinging to her when crying or upset. Mothers, when children were crying or upset, held children close to their bosom in skin-on-skin format, reassuring children with the words "this too will pass". When out and about, mothers wore young children - up until age 6 - next to their bosom in swaddling blankets, perhaps offering for the child to suckle her teat if the child was milk-hungry. By night, mothers co-slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format in order to form a secure attachment with children, and also to protect them from all predatory threats, including the sexual entitlement of fathers. Fathers also formed a secure attachment to children, by way of witnessing skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy between mother and child, and wanting in on the action by way of a sexual attachment to the child. Fathers imprinted on their children by way of masturbatory orgasm. This pro-social fantasy on the part of the father about his children led to a close bond between children and fathers, usually of a silly or playful kind, but also in a way that encourages bold feats of independence as children get older. Fathers usually were passive and submissive around children in biblical times, like a human ragdoll. Mothers were the more serious parent, but in a warm and caring type of way.

Parents in biblical times were caregivers, not lawgivers or lawmakers. Children, in biblical times, were in the providing custody of their mothers primarily, and their fathers secondarily. "Providing custody" means that parents provide to children their every vulnerable need, with children not being under any Law until they reach adulthood. The concept of adult authority did not exist in biblical times. Parents were the head of their children, but in a providing, selfless way, much like a man is the head of his wife. The Fifth Commandment merely sets up parental headship. It does not set up a right for parents to impose non-existent authority over children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!