Discipline: How to teach your child discipline - without spanking or punishment

Many parents want to teach their children discipline. This is a common desire amongst American children. Most parents think disciplining a child will teach them discipline. This is a common belief amongst American parents. However, the fact of the matter is that disciplining children does not teach them discipline. Children need to learn to discipline themselves.

Discipline, in a Christian home, is supported by the docrine of mutual submission, in the form of Christian attachment parenting. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with kidnapping being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and, here, refers to modeling discipline to children, by the Christian standard of discipline. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, chastening up the Christian. The key is to model this disciplined attitude to children in the context of a secure attachment. Sometimes, children need direct instruction, usually in the form of redirection, and this is denoted by the Greek root word translated "admonition" which is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia). Instruction and redirection should be reserved for if the child is behaving in a way that is sinful or unsafe. If you have a secure attachment with your child, they should want to heed the warning of your example and your instruction, without argument and without delay, because they trust you. If they don't listen the first time, assume they can't listen due to immature brain development, and keep them safe.

Discipline was a life skill taught by fathers and mothers in biblical times. Both parents modeled Christian discipline to their children, meaning parents themselves strived to be deserving of absolutely nothing, and grateful for absolutely everything. Then, once children started picking up on this example, and started imitating their parents' example, fathers encouraged the new disciplined attitude in children lavishly, praising children for their disciplined attitudes, and this kept up until the child was convicted of Christian discipline. The modern term for this form of discipline is "catch a child being good". 

Secure attachment was fostered by the mother, who provided for children nourishment and sustenance, meaning attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Ultimately, co-sleeping in skin-on-skin format was ultimately what formed the secure attachment between mother and child. Fathers formed a secure attachment also, by witnessing the skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy between mothers and children, wanting in on the action by way of a sexual attachment to the child. Fathers imprinted on children by way of masturbatory orgasm. When a child has a secure attachment, they will imitate the disciplined attitudes of their parents, no matter how disciplined their parents are.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!