Christian attachment parenting: Upholding the Christian tradition

Most American parents support authoritatve parenting. Typically, authoritative parenting is applied in a punitive manner, with frequent time-outs, and the occasional disciplinary spanking in some homes. Punishment of children is thought of as a Christian tradition by many parents, and this is based on false interpretation of Scripture, and false context.

God cast a dominion over all of America, yet only a few will heed the warning. America is a Christian nation, founded upon Judeo-Christian family values. The Bible is a founding document of this country, above even the Constitution itself. The Bible is codified law imposed and binding upon the American people. Nowhere in the Bible does it legitimately say to strike or punish a child. Wherever the rod is mentioned, the most literal interpretation refers to the 40 minus 1 lashes administered by fathers to young men in a courtroom setting, not a home setting. Christian attachment parenting was the parenting of the Early Christians, and so it is also American parenting, as our nation was founded on the premise that we would have a religious society. I am a Christian dominionist, and so I'd like to see our values be reflected in the secular law. 

Christian attachment parenting is based on the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, where parents provide for children, and children rest in the providence of parents. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which was the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, duttifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, inclduing any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. 

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to, in the Hebraic context, modeling Christian discipline to children. Christian discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, and is grateful for absolutely everything, leading to a chastened up complexion for children to imitate. When fathers saw their children imitate their disciplined attitude, they lavishly praised and encouraged the disciplined attitude. With boys, they were praised for "withstanding all odds", and girls were given hugs and embraces with the mother's permission. Children in biblical times wanted to emulate the disciplined example of their parents, as parents had a secure attachment with their children. On occasion, parents needed to instruct their children directly, usually by way of redirection, and this is denoted by the Greek root word translated "admonition" which is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia). However, instruction and redirection should be rare, and only when the child is endangering themselves, spiritually or otherwise. A good example of spiritual endangerment is a young son sexually "feeling up" his mother as a part of the oedipus complex. Most sins that a child commits are theft, and all damages or offenses imposed by a child make the parents culpable for those damages or offenses. Blasphemy is something to redirect your child away from, namely fornication. If they trust your voice, they will listen to you and emulate your values. 

Change of heart in children did not happen overnight. Most all of the chilidish and immature behaviors most parents call "naughty" are actually developmentally appropriate behaviors given the child's age and developmental level. Children absorb lessons such as Christian discipline at their own pace, and in the mean time, will be out of sorts at times, as is normal for a child their age and developmerntal level. Children naturally want to emulate the Christian example of their parents, and so optimally, you as a parent won't need to instruct your children in much. Values instruction should instead be more about driving your child in the direction they should go through encouragement. Children shouldn't absorb the example of their parents, in full, until the adolescent years.

Children in biblical times were in the providing custody, primarily of mothers, and secondarily of fathers. Mothers provided for children nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness with mothers, never leaving her side, being worn in swaddling blankets when mothers were out and about. Around the age of 6, children started exploring on their own, and started insisting on doing things on their own. Children were lavishly praised and encouraged by fathers to be bold and do things on their own. But, when children were worn out and burnt out, they went back to the closeness of their mother, with mothers serving as home base for children to recharge. Children formed a secure attachment to fathers through mothers, with fathers making themselves at home with their daughters in particular by way of masturbatory fantasy about his child.

Christian attachment parenting is attachment parenting using the Early Christian context as a context for understanding how parenting should be done naturally. The Early Christians believed God was whipping them by sending them adversity (see Heb. 12:5-6), but nonetheless believed only God could whip His children, as only He did it without harm to His child. God calls Christians today to be natural parents, meaning attachment parents, yet only a few people will heed the warning. The Early Christians were hated by the Romans largely because they were too "soft" on their children. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descemd into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!