Attention-seeking behavior: Why ALL children have a core need for attention

Many parents deal with it. A child simply wants their attention. This is a common situation parents find themselves in. Most American parents have dealt with an attention-seeking child, at some point or another. Most American parents think that attention-seeking behavior is deserving of punishment. The fact of the matter is that most behavior in children is attention-seeking in nature, and that is because attention is a core need for all children, especially young children.

Giving children loving attention is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. Parents are to be submissive to their children, just as they are submissive to God, regarding themselves as the enemy of such. In return, children are to rest safely and securely in the love and submission of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children often cry, and they cry for various reasons, much like we know about infants already. Children have five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these is attachment! The core of a child's attachment needs is attention. Just like an infant cries out for attention, so does a young child. So, why not just give them that attention? All children need loving attention. Never ignore a crying child. Always attend to a crying child, and give them the attention that they need. 

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing when outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. When children cried out for attention and comfort, mothers always responded in biblical times, giving children attention by holding them up to their bosom in skin-on-skin mammary closeness, perhaps allowing a child to suckle the teat of their mother if milk-hungry. Fathers also gave children attention from time to time, usually the silly or playful type that would make a child giggle. 

Many parents and other adults say that a child "just wants attention". The fact of the matter is that children NEED attention in order to survive - attention is a basic social need for children, and if they don't get it when they cry out for it, they will find attention through more disruptive means. So, whenever a child is crying or upset, attend to them, with mothers giving them skin-on-skin comfort, and reassuring them with the phrase "this too will pass". All children need attention, and the need for attention is a core need. Simply giving children attention when they cry out for it will prevent most childhood mischief and misdeeds.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and tormenr, suffering Gpd's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!