"Benign" deprivation: Why deprivation of wants is child abuse (and alternatives to constantly saying "no")

Many parents today believe in the authoritative parenting model. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. One common form of authoritative parenting used by parents is "benign" deprivation, meaning saying "no" just for the sake of saying "no". How it usually turns out is that the parent says "no" to their children just because they don't feel like getting off their rear end and doing something good for their child. It is a myth that a child has an innate need to hear the word "no". 

"Benign" deprivation is the deprivation of wants when a child wants stuff all of the time, and was thought up by authoritative parrenting guru John Rosemond. I was that child that always wanted stuff. Children want stuff because they see that as love. So, why not splurge for your children, and buy them what they want? Children usually ask for stuff when their attachment needs aren't fully met, and they need attachment.

True Love is not selfish. True Love is not out of pride or desire. True Love is Christian love for one's child, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in the context of parenting, prioritizing children first, and yourself last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children as you would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return. True Love for children is giving without receiving. In turn, children are to rest safely and securely in the love and submission of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting of children, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage simply for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children were rarely told "no" in biblical times. Usually, children in biblical times got what they wanted. When they didn't get what they wanted, in the few instances where parents had no other choice but to say "no", children cried and threw a massive temper tantrum. When at home, mothers simply picked up their children, and held them in skin-to-skin closeness, holding children next to their bosom in mammary closeness. When out and about, young children were held closely as they were wrapped up in swaddling blankets next to the bosom of mothers, with older children being tucked under her dress in skin-on-skin format. Children were reassured with the phrase "this too will pass".

Instead of using "benign" deprivation tactics with your child, there is a certain code that all parents should follow with their children. Give up all fight with your child concerning what they want, and give in to their demands as to what they want. You may find that they don't want anything else, but that they just wanted that one thing - for a day ot two, then they want something else entirely. With younger children, give them choices as to what they want, and if they choose someting entirely different, go with what they choose. With older children and teenagers, compromised when their stated demand absolutely is out of the question. If you have to say "no", say it nicely, and avoid the exact wordage of "no". Say something like "that won't work". Then, mothers should disrobe, inviting their child to throw off the clothing, and then embrace your child in skin-on-skin mammary closeness.

Children in biblical times issued orders and edicts towards parents, with such righteous demands being interpreted as lawful and binding orders. Parents were issued righteous demands from their children, with parents giving up all fight with their children, and giving in to the demands of children. Children were seen as authority figures by parents, and vulnerable appearances of God, bringing parents to full and dutiful submission to children, just as mankind is to submit to God. Mankind is the enemy of God, and so is parent-kind the enemy of child-kind, with parents being subservient to children in that order. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!