"Back talk": Why back talk is not a sin

All parents presumably have had to deal with it. A child who spoke against his/her parents, thus "talking back". Most parents think talking back is a sign of disrespect, and punish back talk in children. This is a common attittude towards children amongst American parents. The fact of the matter is that back talk is not a sin in the Bible. In fact, in biblical terms, back talk is a sign of respect.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and gtace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Parents in biblical times, but especially mothers, held providing custody of children. Parents in biblical times were caregivers, not lawgivers or lawmakers. Mothers in the Early Church, by way of church ordinance, were obligated to provide for children nourishment and sustenance. Parenting in biblical times was attachment-based, and based off of a secure attachment between mothers and children, and by extension, fathers and children to a certain degree. Mothers held children close to their bosom with swaddling blankets, or else snuggled children next to the bosom in skin-on-skin comfort, especially when children were crying out for the attention of their parents.

Children demanded what they wanted from mothers, and sometimes from fathers, and usually did so tearfully, by way of crying out loud for what they wanted. Children usually got what they wanted in biblical times, and got everything they needed. Demands from children were seen as righteous demands, not unrighteous demands, and brought parents to full and dutiful submission to children, striking reverent fear and terror into parents. Children called the shots in biblical times.

A little back talk, in biblical times, was seen as a sign of respect from children. It was a sign that children respected parents enough to be honest with them about their emotions. Children in biblical times were not "to be seen and not heard". Children were outspoken in their minor role, and knew their rights. Children ruled parents from beneath, appearing to them as if from above, striking reverent fear and terror into parents with their wrath, convicting parents of their earthly duties towards their children. 

Parents were enslaved to the demands of their children, with most demands coming in the form of crying. Children cried a lot, and every single time a child cried, a parent was there to respond to their tears. Sometimes, children simply lashed out because they really had vulnerable needs, and parents just handed them what they needed. Even if they simply were asking for attention, attention was treated as a core need of children, and they were given the attention that they needed.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anget through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!