Attention-seeking behavior: Why attention is a core need for ALL children

Many parents deal with it. A child simply wants their attention. Most American parents make the same mistake concerning attention-seeking behaviors. Most parents in this country punish children when they cry out for attention, or else forcefully reprimand them, especially when out and about in public. The fact of the matter is that children have a core need for your attention, and if they don't get it the right way, they will get it the wrong way.

Giving children loving attention is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. Parents are to be submissive to their children, just as mankind is to be submissive to God, being the enemy of such. In return, children are to rest safely and securely in the love and submission of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quarted slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children often cry, and do so for various reasons. Children have five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment! There are multiple attachment needs that a child may have, and the greatest of all attachment needs is attention. All children need loving attention, and when they don't have enough attention, they cry in order to get the attention that they need. If that doesn't work, they act out. Never ignore a crying child, for any reason. Always attend to a crying child, even if that child is crying out loud just for attention.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing when outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children who cried out for loving attention got loving attention, with mothers scooping up children and holding them to their bosom in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. A crying child was never ignored or scolded for crying, as crying in children was seen in that culture as communication as to vulnerable needs.

Many parents and other adults say "Oh, he/she just wants attention" and use that to write off a child. Of course a child wants attention, and that is because that child NEEDS attention. So, when a child cries or acts out to get your attention, give them your attention. Children start out by crying for attention, and if you give them your loving attention, they will cry more for it. This increase in crying is a sign that your child respects you enough to be honest with you about their emotions. Children always cry for a reason, and the most common reason that they cry is attention, so make sure your child has plenty of attention to grow into an independent, self-reliant adult - he/she will need that attention in order to mature faster. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!