Parent anger: How to deal with parent anger (the anti-entitlement way)

Many parents struggle with it. Parent anger is the most common form of parental entitlement in the United States, and the most excused form of parental entitlement. Most child abuse is motivated by parent anger, to some degree, including even sexual abuse offenses stemming ultimately from adult sexual entitlement. Parent anger can be completely eliminated, but it takes an anti-entitlement approach to purge oneself of parent anger.

It says in Matthew 5:21-22 KJV:

Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother; Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

Here, Christ is comparing unrighteous anger to murder, and He surely means parent anger as well, when this is understood in context. "Without a cause" means anger should be channeled into righteous judgment. Children were judged righteously in biblical times as sacrosanct in all cases, as children were seen in biblical times as doing no wrong, even when at least some of their actions were technically legally wrong on a moral level. Children were not bound by the Law until they became adults, and were expected to know better. Before then, children could not be judged for anything.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, including parental entitlement, and cross-references the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement is wanting things from children, period. Parent anger is one form of parental entitlement, where the entitled want is expressed in the form of anger, usually a temper tantrum when children don't meet high and lofty expectations. Ultimately, parent anger comes from a deserving place in a parent or other adults, where parents feel that they are deserving of respect and honor from children.

How do you get rid of parent anger? This method is known as the hourglass method. The idea is to finally, after finding fault in your children, giving up and finding fault in yourself. In the case of parent anger, this involves finding fault in that anger. The idea is to then take the attitude that, because of that anger, that you are a depraved and entitled sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to your children. This makes you feel worthless, but then you want to earn your worth by turning your anger inward facing, in order to let it percolate. Your entire complex of anger will then become inward facing, in which case you can choose when to bring out the law, and when to let things go, and the more you forgive your neighbor and let things go, the more you center that inwards-facing anger. Anger on the parent level can be completely eliminated through this percolation method. Parent anger comes from a deserving place, so take a completely undeserving attitude towards your children.

Mothers can also speed up the purging of parent anger by way of skin-on-skin comfort and breastfeeding. When you allow your child to snuggle up next to you, as a mother, in skin-on-skin format, perhaps taking off your clothing or tucking your child under your shirt, or even co-sleeping in skin-on-skin format, just one time, you will quickly figure out that this is the mutual submission setup that is part of God's plan for earthly mothers. This method does not replace Christian non-entitlement, but rather works in conjunction with Christian non-entitlement. This method brings up the trauma in a woman, and Christian non-entitlement helps center that trauma, and helps mothers become humble enough to snuggle with their children in the nude.

Christian non-entitlement leads to gratitude. When you come to the conviction that you are a depraved and entitled sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, you become grateful for absolutely everything. Zero entitlement is when you want absolutely nothing in life, and are happy with what you have. Maybe you do want somethings even at zero entitlement, but you ask nicely and politely for such things, knowing you are not deserving of such grace from others, and that they could easily say "no".

Parent anger, like most entitled anger, comes usually in the form of a demand. Many parents order their children around, and demand things from them. The key to avoiding entitlement towards children is to stifle demands towards them, and be convicted of the fact that you are a depraved and entitled sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to children. When you lose the deserving attitude towards children, you will lose that parent anger big time. 

The parent entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!