Hebrews 12:5-11: Why this is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents think that punishment is something commanded in the Bible. This is the most common excuse for spanking or punishing a child. Most American parents are Christians, as we are a Christian nation. However, the fact of the matter is that the Bible does not promote or command any form of punishment of a child, and in fact condemns it. Hebrews 12:5-11 is a passage often used to justify the use of force or control on children, when, in fact, it has nothing to do with parenting.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-11 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which have corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their pleasure: but he for our profit, that we might be partakers in his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 

This passage is written to a distinctly Jewish audience, and references legal punishments under the Law of Moses. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoo) and refers literally to the rod of correction. It is a myth that parents used the rod of correction on their minor children. The only time the rod was brought out was when an adult offender was sentenced for a capital offense. The 40 minus 1 lashes only were meted out only in the Old Testament, as the Early Church prohibited parishioners from even participating in Roman executions or floggings, and did not use capital or corporal punishment as a form of church discipline. The 40 minus 1 lashes had a specific meaning to the Ancient Hebrews - a second chance at life. The idea was to subject capital offenders to the rod of correction first, and issue them 40 minus 1 lashes, and if they lived to tell the tale, they were given a second chance at life. Doesn't all adversity do the same thing to human beings - it is a rough patch, and then we get a second chance at life at the end of the tunnel. This passage is using rod language, which is a form of figurative language in the Hebrew. In Israel, after coming home from a hard day at work, you would say "God really whipped me hard today" when speaking Hebrew. The Christian belief that is undeniable is that God whips His children, like only He can, and if He is really whipping you - by sending you adversity - He really wants you as His adopted child. However, God only whips His children when it isn't harmful, and when it is loving. Human beings are flawed and have turned their back on God, and only whip their children when it harms and damages them, and thus earthly parents are to use natural parenting, meaning attachment parenting. In biblical times, fathers did discipline children, but by encouraging self-discipline and religious growth in children, and fathers sure took pleasure in doing so. 

Hebrews 12:5-11 has nothing to do with raising a child as an earthly parent. It has to do with how God raises us. God has the right to whip His children, as God is Sovereign and never abuses His children. Any adverse events that are traumatic come from the devil, not God. There are passages in the Bible about earthly parenting, but they prohibit the use of force or controlling demeanor in parenting. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting parents in all things, following mothers around especially like goslings to a mother goose.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages and offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any form of punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding a child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating a child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christan parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comforting strategies. By day, children ranged next to mothers, sometimes clinging to her. When out and about, children up until age 6 were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. By night, mothers co-slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format, with mother and child fast asleep in the nude, and with children soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin contact from mothers. When children cried and were upset, they were held next to the bosom of mothers in mammary closeness, with mothers co-snuggling with children when at home, and swaddling children to her bosom when out and about. Fathers also formed a secure attachment to their children, after witnessing bonding between mother and child. Usually, this secure attachment in fathers was a sexual attachment to a child, which fathers dealt with by following the sexual thoughts about their child to the end using masturbatory fantasy. Child sexual abuse was outlawed, and was deemed a capital offense in biblical times (see Lev. 18:17; 20:13).

Parents in biblical society, instead of punishing their children with spankings or whippings, used time-in methods to deal with a crying or upset child, meaning mothers held their children to their bare bosom, and snuggled them closely in mammary closeness to their child, perhaps letting them breastfeed if they are milk-dependent. Fathers either frantically reassured the crying child, or, when mothers were available, handed the child over to mom. Mothers were the primary caregivers of children. Mothers never spanked or punished children in any way, and instead used mammary closeness to comfort and reassure children, whispering to their children "this too will pass". 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inheriit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!