Christian attachment parenting: Upholding the biblical tradition

Many parents think that the Bible does not encourage attachment parenting. This is a common belief amongst American parents. Most American parents do not subscribe to attachment parenting, regarding it falsely as unbiblical, relying on false and abusive religious doctrine in order to justify punitive parenting towards children.

Christian attachment parenting is based off of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. Parents are to be submissive to children, just as they are to God. In return, children are to rest safely and securely in the love and submission of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children from beneath, yet from above, revering children as extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child. 

Parents are to be submissive to their children, just as they are submissive to God. Children in biblical times were prized when they were bold and rebellious. Boldness was seen as a sign of children becoming as independent as possible, and such bold feats of independence were lavishly encouraged by fathers. Rebelliousness was seen as cute and endearing for a child in biblical times, meaning children were expected to rebel, and the righteous assumption was that children meant nothing by it, and were simply trying to establish themselves as individuals. Children were seen as autonomous individuals by parents and other adults in Ancient Israel and the Early Church, not as extensions of parents, and children who rebelled were seen as asserting their autonomy. Children also righteously demanded things from parents, in the form of orders and edicts, and this brought parents into full and dutiful submission to the righteous demands of children. Children got most of what they wanted, and everything that they needed.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children up until age 6 never left the side of mothers, and ranged next to her wherever she went in the house, sometimes clinging to her. Mothers allowed children to cling to them whenever they were crying or upset, offering for milk-dependent children to breastfeed, in order to soothe their crying or upset. Blatantly defiant children were held to the mother's bosom in the fetal position. When out and about, children up until age 6 were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers, in swaddling blankets. By night, mothers slept next to children to guard them from predators of all kinds, including sexual predators in the home. Fathers also formed a secure attachment with their children, by witnessing skin-on-skin closeness between mother and child. Usually, this was a sexual attachment of the connotational type, usually directed towards daughters (the Electra complex). Fathers in that culture followed the sexual thoughts to the end using masturbatory fantasy, and then had a close, playful relationship with their children. Usually, fathers were the playmate that encouraged religious education through a game of "truth or dare". Children usually picked up an open Bible in the house at around age 6, and from there, fathers cultivated that interest by playfully encouraging exploration. When children weren't ready for a religious teaching, they were comforted and reassured as the "truth" part of "truth or dare". 

Children, in biblical times, were not simply seen as cute and innocent, but otherwise to be "seen and not heard". They were put on a pedestal, either sexually or simply nurturingly, and were treated as deities of their own representing God in vulnerable form. Parents wanted to win over the deity of their child, and so they provided for the child, fearing the Lord in submitting to that child. Mothers put the child on a pedestal by way of mothers valuing the child in a reverent way, fearing reverently the wrath of their child. Fathers also revered their children, but especially with daughters, they revered daughers as a goddess of sexuality, in a distant and forbidden way. Parents did not want to make their children mad at them, and so they avoided everything that made their children mad at them, only saying "no" rarely and only in the most diplomatic of terms, reassuring children with the phrase "this too will pass".

America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian family values. Nowhere in our founding Judeo-Christian values does it say that it is okay to punish or be controlling with a child. God's Law is above the law of the land, and God's Law prescribes attachment parenting to deal with childhood behaviors, and to provide the proper mutual submission between parent and child. We have been wrong about our values before. Just look at slavery and Jim Crow. We are still learning about our Judeo-Christian values as Americans. If you look at the biblical context which we all glean from as a nation, attachment parenting is the way to teach a child good values.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!