Time-in: Giving children mammary closeness to soothe crying and upset

All parents have been there. A child cries in the store, or in the restaurant, or at home. This is a common dilemma that parents find themselves in, and most American parents are ill-prepared for the reality that all children cry, some of the time. Many parents today use corporal punishment, but only in conjunction with time-out. It is about time to rip up that system completely. Time-ins are the best way to deal with a child, and the best form of time-in is what was used in biblical times. 

Time-in takes place in an attachment parenting environment, where children have a secure attachment with their parents. That setup is understood by the doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as one would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting parents in all things, following mothers especially around like goslings to a mother goose.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they were adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comforting strategies. When at home, mother and child co-snuggled in the nude when children were crying or upset, with children being held to the bare bosom of mothers, in mammary comfort and closeness. When out and about, children under age 6 were wrapped next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets...This context is applicable today just as it was in the days of old, albeit with some tweaking (see next paragraph).

How should the abovementioned context be applied today. At home, first disrobe yourself, maybe to the level of underwear, but preferably all the way (especially with a child that is still breastfeeding). Then, invite the crying or upset child to throw off the clothing, and then find ways to provide skin-on-skin comfort to your child, through mammary closeness. In public, make sure children up until age 6 are wrapped up next to your bosom in swaddling blankets. You can find swaddling blankets that fit a 6-year-old, but not much older. For older children, when they are crying and upset, take them to the ladies' room and tuck them under your shirt in a stall, inviting them to throw off the clothing first. Reassure them by whispering to them "this too will pass", cradling even older children like a baby... Following this routine will teach you as a mother that mammary closeness is the natural way to bond with your child.

'Tis the Christmas season. This means chaos to many children across the country, as they are dragged by their parents through loud, crowded stores, and expected to sit still for an hour or so in a restaurant. Children are going to have more public meltdowns due to being drained and tired, or else wanting things that are marketed right to them, yet are too expensive to poor and underprivileged families. It is not good to punish your child for having needs. Instead, hold them closely when they cry as a mother. It is a womanly gift that us menfolk cannot replicate, or at least not accurately. Fathers can be expected just to nurture from afar, and empathize with the child's upset, saying softly as they cry "this too will pass", which is what mothers should say as well. "This too will pass" is what mothers especially in biblical times used to reassure children. Preferably, the mother should be the primary caregiver of children, with fathers handing the child over to the mother when the child needs comfort.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!