Policing attachment: Why parents are to take orders from children

Many parents think that they have the right to police their children. This is a common belief amongst American parents. Most American parents think that children are to be submissive and obedient to parents. However, the Bible disagrees. The Bible commands a secure attachment between parent and child. The most common form of secure attachment that was found in biblical times was policing attachment.

Secure attachment of all kinds can be understood as a form of mutual submission between parent and child. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as one would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting parents in all things, following especially mothers around like goslings to a mother goose.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for doing something wrong. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

How were children treated in biblical times? Children were seen in a deified way. Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God on earth, meaning installments of God called to be righteous judges of the charity of parents and other adults. Children were seen, in an affectionate light, as little gods and goddesses, meaning they had a deity of their own. Parents sought to win over the deity of their child onto their side. The Lord our God was the Overseer from above, with children enforcing the commandment to be charitable to the poor and vulnerable onto parents. Parents sought to avoid incurring the wrath of their children. Children were seen not as vulnerable, per se, but as superhuman, in a deified way. Fathers indeed sexualized the deity of his daughter, seeing her as a sex goddess, while abstaining from sexually abusing his daughter by masturbating instead. Children issued orders and edicts to parents, and parents complied with those orders, being regarded by society as bondservants to their children, working and toiling for their children for a lump sum - independence.

Policing attachment is a form of secure attachment that, today, is common in autism homes with children with autism. Secure attachment is being able to trust parents in everything, in a restful way, including feeling safe talking about anything to parents. Policing attachment involves children feeling so safe with parents that they order parents around. Usually, by that time, the parent has gives up battling with their children, and gives into forceful demands from their children. This was your average home in biblical times. Parents surrendered to the wrath of their children, heeding the child's authority over their own needs, then submitted to those needs dutifully and selflessly.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!