Reverent fear: Why to be please your child instead of punish them

Many parents think that children have to do hard work in order to earn the good graces of parents, and fear parents in that regard. It is common amongst American parents to demand respect without earning it, from children. The fact of the matter is that parents are deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else, for being the depraved and decadent sinners that they are.

Parents are to give to children without receiving. The Greek root word denoting Christian love in the New Testament is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in the context of parenting, prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, valuing children as extensions of God. In response, children rest safely and securely in the submission of parents. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as one would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, following mothers especially around like goslings to a mother goose. The Greek root word translated "obey" in the Bible can roughly be translated to "trust", meaning a restful trust in parents. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Reverent fear and caution is denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word ψοβός (Latin: phobos) and refers to, in the context of parenting, being struck with reverent fear and terror concerning your child's needs. Children were seen as extensions of God, meaning installments of God called to convict adults of their charitable side, and judge the amount of charity meted out to them. Parents in biblical times reverently feared the wrath of their children, and sought to please and appease them, in order to keep children happy, and keep parents on the good side of their children. Parents were afraid of their children becoming mad at them, and so when a child was mad at them, parents scrambled to find out what caused their child to tick. Children, at another level, were judged by society as being sacrosanct, meaning they could do no wrong, even if they did do some things morally wrong, literally speaking. 

Ancient Israel and the Early Church were child worshipping societies, not child sacrificing societies. Children were seen as deities of their own, and extensions of God, and were referred to in endearing format as "my little god" or "my little goddess". Fathers had a sexual attachment to their children, usually their daughters, with daughters being idolized in a sexualizing manner as a deity to herself - it was a fixation centering around the young girl, worshipping her and venerating her as a goddess of sexuality. Fatherly attraction to daughters was an attraction that could never be. Same in the rare situation where fathers were attracted to sons. Parents were to be in full and dutiful submission to children just as they would God.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing when outside the home, otherwise going in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (usually until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, respectively. The core aspect of Christian attachment parenting in the 1st Century was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, with mother and child fast sleep next to each other in the nude, with children soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin contact. Children went naked for a specific reason - so that mothers could snuggle them up and cuddle them up in order to soothe and reassure them when they were upset. The man of the house stood guard, wielding a rod and staff to whip intruders (meaning NOT children) with. Fathers developed a secure attachment to their children by watching the mother bond with the children. Usually, secure attachment for a father was a sexual attachment. Fathers in that situation were instructed by Early Church leadership to follow the sexual thoughts about their child to the end using masturbatory fantasy. Daughters were also attracted to fathers, creating a mutually unrequited sexual dynamic between father and child, which was a sign of sexual purity in the home. Actual child sexual abuse was rare in biblical times, but when it did happen, it was seen as deserving of death. It usually only happened as a single incident, and then the mother put a stop to it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!