Hebrews 12:5-11: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents use the Bible as an excuse for punishing children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents believe that punishment and controlling demeanor towards children is not only recommended in the Bible, but commanded in the Bible. The fact of the matter, however, is that the Bible does not command punishing a child in any way, and in fact prohibits the punishment of children.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-11 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him. For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons, for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers in his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Hebrews 12:5-11 is one of my favorite passages - and it has nothing to do with parenting earthly children. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigóo) and refers here, literally speaking, to the rod of correction, meaning the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. However, the rod of correction can have a figurative meaning when mentioned in the Bible. In Jewish culture, there exists rod language, meaning, in Israel, when you had a bad day at work, you would say "God whipped me good". God chastens up His children, meaning God whips His children into shape, like only He can. If human beings whipped their children the way God whips us, that would lead to harm to children. The chastening of the Lord, literally speaking, refers to everyday events that cause stress - with the right complexion, meaning the Christian complexion, the stressors of every day should make one stronger once you get through them. God regularly sends stressors to the Christian to chasten them up and strengthen them. If something caused trauma, it comes from the devil, not God. Whippings were not a part of law enforcement in the Early Church, literally speaking. In the Early Church, nobody got whipped. The cat o' nine tails was a form of judicial corporal punishment in Ancient Rome, but the Early Christians were pacifists, and did not practice corporal punishment of any kind. Evildoers in the Early Church were instead excommunicated.

The Greek root word translated "chastisement" and "corrected" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to non-entitlement to the level of undeservingness. A disciplined man knows he is deserving of absolutely nothing, and should be grateful for absolutely everything, as he knows that he is a depraved and decadent sinner in relation to God and neighbor. This attitude chastens up the Christian and creates a new person, and turns stressful rough patches in life into opportunities to toughen up and be chastened up. Fathers, in biblical times, did discipline their children, but only by encouraging when children built self-discipline on their own, with the encouragement coming in the form of challenging the child to chasten themselves up and discipline themselves in the Lord, and also by reading Scripture with the child. Fathers did not, ever, whip their children in order to discipline them. The challenge children were put up to was made into a game of "truth or dare".

Heb. 12:5-11 refers to how God parents His children, not how earthly parents should raise their children. God wants earthly parents to use natural methods of raising children, namely attachment parenting. Christian attachment parenting is based on the doctrine of mutual submission. Parents bear the burden of proof in a parent-child relationship. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, submitting to children as one would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting them in everything, following mothers especially around like a gosling to a mother goose. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

How were children treated in biblical times? Children were seen, in biblical times, as extensions of God, meaning installments of God appointed to be righteous judges of the charity of parents or other adults (see Matt. 25:31-46). Children were seen as having a deity of their own, that was representative of God, and parents sought to win over the good graces of that deity which was their child. In parenting manuals, parents were told that if they didn't try to win over the deity of their child, and neglected just one iota of the listed needs of their children, they would burn in Hell. Parents sought to avoid incurring the wrath of their children, fearing the upsets of their children, blaming themselves and not their children when their children were mad at them, scrambling to do better next time as caregivers. Ancient Israel and the Early Church were child worshipping societies, not child sacrificing societies. 

The honorifics that children were spoken of in ultimately referred to nourishment and sustenance, meaning attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin co-sleeping. Children, up until age 6, were wrapped up against the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. In the home, children ranged next to their mothers, sometimes clinging to her. When children were crying or upset, mothers held their children next to them in mammary closeness. Mother and child both snuggled and cuddled at home, with both parties being in the nude, in order for mothers to provide optimum skin-on-skin comfort. Fathers stood guard in order to protect the mother and child, wielding a rod and staff in order to whip intruders (meaning NOT children) with. Fathers also formed a secure attachment, usually when witnessing skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy between father and child. Fathers, however, usually developed a sexual attachment to their children, usually of the connotational type. Church leadership recommended to fathers that they follow the sexual thoughts of their children through masturbatory fantasy. Daughters also had a sexual attachment towards their fathers that usually only came out in masturbation, creating a mutually unrequited sexual dynamic between father and daughter. Actual child sexual abuse was very rare in biblical times, but when it happened, it was seen as deserving of death.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Ler them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!