Many people misunderstand the label "pedophile". Pedophilia is NOT a choice or a behavior. Pedophilia is also NOT a sexual orientation that can be acted upon in a future context. I am a pedophile, and pedophilia is my mental health self-diagnosis. I myself have my pedophilic disorder in remission, but it used to be bad. Pedophilic disorder, as a mental disorder, can come in many forms, usually self-hatred that does not fit any other category. In my case, I have a "love" addiction.
What is "love" addiction? It is infatuation towards all the wrong targets, meaning targets that are wrong for you, or when you are all wrong for them. Pedophilia, for some of us, is a "love" addiction. I would become fixated on, and obsessed with, individual young girls at the local swimming area. What did I want with them? At the back of my mind, I wanted a sleepover, where I would snuggle with them in their bed, all with ulterior sexually entitled intent of course.
I have to be very careful. I have tarred myself, and my own fate, in relation to a child. If I even approach a child for sexually entitled purposes, I will go to Hell - for the entitlement alone. The prospect of eternity in Hell is so frightening to me that I don't even think of approaching children anymore for sexually entitled purposes.
I am a depraved and decadent sinner, who is deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else. I am deserving of everything coming to me, including any hatred or resentment from children that I may face. I am a depraved and decadent sinner, deserving of nothing but DEATH and PUNISHMENT merely for existing in relation to children. Not even affection. Not even forgiveness. I am grateful for the forgiveness from all the children I have abused, as I deserve none of it.
Every adult should take my repentant stance, for I am a convicted adult and abuser, who is deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else. I am deserving of God's punishment, and grateful for all I have, since I deserve none of it for being the sinful wretch that I am.
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