Proverbs 13:24: Why this is not a pro-spanking verse

Many parents think that the Bible commands child punishment. This is a common belief amongst American parents. Most American parents are pro-spanking, even if they do not punish their children themselves. Most American parents cite Prov. 13:24 as an excuse for striking or punishing a child. The fact of the matter is that Prov. 13:24 is not a pro-spanking verse.

It says in Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew root word translated "rod" is שםח (Latin: shebet) and refers to the rod of correction, which was an instrument of judicial corporal punishment under the Law. Ultimately, this passage is not referring to domestic corporal punishment, but to the 40 minus 1 lashes administered to the bare back of a foolish ADULT child whose conduct was in violation of the Law, after a trial before a criminal court of law. The whipping was administered *in the courtroom*, not in the family home. Children could not be charged with any criminal or civil offense under the Law. This legal punishment was a metaphor for enduring hardship. Rod language is a specific form of figurative language in the Hebrew language. When you have a bad day at work in Israel, you say in the Hebrew "God really whipped me today". Solomon here was urging fathers not to shield their young adult sons from hardship. This passage, however, is not helpful in raising minor children, as it only applies to adult children. All this, n this paragraph, goes for all of the other rod verses in the book of Proverbs and Hebrews.

There are passages in the New Testament that actually deal with raising children. Most notable is Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ Sacrificed for His children on the cross, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, and with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents and other adults are depraved and decadent sinners, who are deserving of absolutely nothing from children or anyone else. Parents are to earn the every respect they seek from their children.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages and offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating a child as a captured slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context for a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, respectively. The core aspect of Christian attachment parenting in the 1st Century was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, where mother and child are fast asleep next to each other, with children soaking up the rays from skin-to-skin contact. Children were naked for a specific reason - so that mothers could cuddle them up and snuggle them up in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. In biblical times, for the first six years, time with children was to be spent together. For the last few years, time with children was to be spent apart, with fathers especially encouraging bold feats of independence in children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!