Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior in children

All parents have had to deal with it at some point in their parenting journey. Children cry. Crying is a common reason for parents punishing their children. Most parents only tolerate crying in infants, and even then, some infants are shut out as well. The fact of the matter is that crying is not bad behavior. All children cry for the same reason an infant cries - they want love!

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers are to rest in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, following them around like a gosling to a mother goose. Obedience, in the Bible, is synonymous with secure attachment, meaning parents must form a secure attachment with their child, and have them listen that way.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children in biblical times, when they cried or became upset, were co-snuggled with mothers, with children being placed on the bosom of mothers, with mothers being in mammary closeness to children. 

What can be done to replicate the abovementioned context? Mothers should, when their child is crying, disrobe to the level of at least underwear, or preferably fully naked. Mothers should then invite the child to throw off the clothes. You may find that, usually, children do not want to wear clothing when they are in the midst of crying or while upset. Then, hold them to the bosom area, soothing them with your embrace, empathizing with them in your words. Just do this once, and it should feel like what a mother should naturally do when their child is crying or upset. In public, this can be done by taking your child to the ladies' room and engaging in mammary closeness in a bathroom stall.

Crying is a means of communication for a child. Children have five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these is attachment! So your child is crying out for attention? Then give them attention. Attention is, in fact, a child's greatest need, meaning all children need some loving attention every now and then. It just so happens that such a need, with mothers, can be met in skin-on-skin format, with children resting in the bare bosom of mothers, in mammary closeness. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!