Children first, parents last: Why parents should put their children first

Many parents think their needs come first, and the child's needs come last. This is often backed up by the assertion that parents need to meet their own needs first, in order to be there for their children. However, the Bible is clear, when understood in context - children come first, and parents come last. True Love puts its subject first, and the lover last. Love for children is no different.

The Greek root word denoting Christian love in the Bible is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in this context, prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others. True Love for children does not come from pride or desire, but from a place of fearful conviction, where you as a parent/adult come to the knowledge that you are a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else. Children, in biblical times, were loved as a neighbor, not an enemy. 

Parents are to submit to their children, selflessly and dutifully, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of the submission of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ Sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, and with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents or other adults. Parents are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, with parents being subservient to them just as they are to Him, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or anyone else.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any form of punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, respectively. The core aspect of Christian attachment parenting in the 1st Century was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, where mothers and children cuddled and snuggled in the nude. By day, children ranged next to mothers, sometimes clinging to her. When mothers went out and about, running errands, children were wrapped up next to their mother's bosom with swaddling blankets, feeling safe and secure in mother's bosom. Children never left their mother's side until age 6, and even after that age, never left the line of sight of parents. Children were put first in Early Christian society, and parents came last, with parents being subservient to their children, cleaning up messes, and wiping away tears.

Parents, in biblical times, were not authority figures over children, but instead were providers for the every need of children. Children ruled from beneath, petitioning and lobbying parents as to what they needed and what they wanted. Children got much of what they wanted, and all of what they needed. Parents submitted to their children and their every vulnerable need, putting themselves last, and children rested in the safety and security of parents, able to demand and petition for their every vulnerable need, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!