Punitive parenting: Why punitive parenting is the wrong way to deal with a child

Many parents think that punitive parenting is a valid way of dealing with children. Punitive parenting is parenting based off of parental entitlement, meaning there are a lot of parents who support punishing and being controlling with children. The fact of the matter is that punitive parenting is banned in the Bible.

The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, parental entitlement is an adult being sorely disappointed when their children don't give them what they feel that they deserve. Adults, including parents, are deserving of absolutely nothing just for existing. All adult anger on the part of adults was seen in biblical times as parental entitlement, including moral anger towards a child. When this sense of entitlement on the part of adults was perceived by children as offensive or damaging, it was deemed child abuse. See also Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands. or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" referring to the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings, Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Punitive parenting is parenting based off of a specific sense of entitlement known as parental entitlement. Most parents today have parent anger, with this anger usually coming from a deserving place. In the Early Church, parents did not get angry at children. Instead, parenting in biblical times was motivated by worry or concern, not anger. The only anger allowed by parents then was protective anger, meaning laying claim onto children who might otherwise be abused and exploited by child predators.

The Bible is clear - no punishment or other punitive measures are allowed in parenting, including anger. Anger at a child was seen as akin to a viper striking out at an unsuspecting child. Any anger towards a child was seen as predatory, meaning something no child should ever be exposed to. 

The idea behind combatting parental entitlement is telling yourself how undeserving you are in relation to children. Most parents who get angry at their children feel deserving of things from their children. The most common deservance demanded by parents is good behavior. Whenever you don't get what you want, you surely are sorely disappointed. The idea is to pick out your flaws as a parent, and avoid any anger towards a child by coming to know that you are a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing. Whenever you as a parent center your adult anger, the rest of the entitlements in our entitlements fall into shape.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!