How to teach gratitude to children - without punishment or shaming

Many parents want to teach gratitude to children. This is a common desire in parents - to have grateful children. All too often, parents say to their children "be grateful" and/or punish them for ingratitude. There is no need to give up. There is a way to teach gratitude to children. It is called being grateful for everything yourself as a parent.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, it is the slightest of unattainable want in life. It is not good to want anything in life, but since we all do as depraved and decadent human beings, so we should ask politely and appropriately as to what we want, and accept "no" as an answer. If you want anything that would lead to a temper tantrum upon hearing the word "no", don't want it, and avoid that want at all costs. Children are watching your every move as an adult, and so entitled want needs to go. When you strive not to want anything, you become grateful for what you have. 

On the other hand, discipline, in the Christian tense, is denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia), and refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline that is deserving of absolutely nothing, and grateful for absolutely everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. The goal in life is to be grateful for absolutely everything, as a parent and as a person in general, but that first needs to come from coming to the knowledge that you are a depraved and decadent sinner deserving of absolutely nothing just for existing as a human being. The state of deserving nothing leads to gratitude in everything.

Christian non-entitlement and gratitude are good examples to impart to your child. However, every good example needs something to back it up. Attachment parenting is what backs up a good Christian example, as this parenting choice is time-honored and time-tested. Punishment and controlling measures drive children away from parents. Attachment parenting is the only way. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children resting as a Godhead for parents to serve. Parents and other adults are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and are to be subservient to children just as they are to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any form of punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding a child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up the Law to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child. Paul, here, was educating Greek and Roman newcomers to the Christian Church about proper Jewish parenting, which was attachment based in nature. The Early Christians were considered a sect of Judaism then, and thus Jewish parenting was the church tradition of the Early Church. Jewish parenting has always been warm and loving, in the attachment parenting tense.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise, went in the nude in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children with nourishment and sustenance, namely breastfeeding (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Mothers formed a secure parent-child bond with children by snuggling with them and sleeping next to them in skin-on-skin format.

How does attachment parenting teach gratitude? Parents should always show a grateful example to children. What backs up that example is loving and warm treatment of children that leads to children liking parents and other adults, and wanting to be like parents and other adults. When children want to grow up to be like you, you have it all set to teach them good Christian values such as gratitude. They likely will fumble initially, while they are still children, but when children are exposed to grateful adults who are grateful for them, they grow up to have gratitude.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!