"Honor parents": Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents go by the Fifth Commandment in parenting, not understanding the letter of said commandment. Most parents in America demand respect and obedience from their children. The fact of the matter is that the Fifth Commandment was intended to prohibit something very specific, in terms of the letter of the Law - elder abuse against parents. 

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This moral statute lays down the framework for the parent protection laws that applied then. The parent protection laws were enacted in Ancient Israel because of the shame of reporting elder abuse to the authorities. If a parent victim reported their abusive child to the authorities, they were blamed for their own abuse with questions such as "where did they learn such behavior?". So, God set down clear parent protection laws to the Ancient Israelite people. "Do not curse parents" means do not inflict an airborne gaslighting curse onto your parents, sending them on their merry way. "Do not strike parents" means do not repeatedly beat your parents. Both of these behaviors weren't common forms of abuse, but when it happened, there was shame in even reporting it. These parent protection laws are repealed verses, as today, honoring your parents means do not commit elder abuse by the state definition of elder abuse. Apart from that, parents need to earn their respect, or else expect none of it for being the brutes and vipers that they are.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to ensure that children have a warm and loving childhood, winning over their children's respect and affection. When attachment parenting is used to its full capacity in Christian parenting, children listen to parents, and do automatically and out of instinct, not questioning their parents' motives, with instead children trusting parents in everything they say or do, going along with whatever parents say or do, with the Lord pleased by this cooperation. Children should listen to parents out of primal instinct, not fear of punishment. Obedience, by the biblical understanding of it, is not something you force onto a child, but instead is something a child chooses to do willfully to honor a parent as an elected choice, out of fondness and warmth for that parent, after being treated with nothing but warmth, love, and grace from said parent. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and also after receiving many warnings that their punitive parenting habits were in violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding a child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up the Law to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any child being punished whatsoever. Paul, here, was advocating for children growing up in Greek and Roman Christian homes, educating Gentile Christians on the Jewish way of parenting.

Mothers, in biblical times, were the adults primarily charged with the care and protection of children. Mothers then did not spank or punish children to gain cooperation. Instead, mothers used skin-on-skin comforting strategies to gain cooperation from children. Children did not wear any clothing, at all, until they became adults. Mothers only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise, wore no clothing at all. Mothers and children snuggled with each other, engaging in mammary closeness, with the child being held close to the bosom of mothers. 

The results of this parenting on children then? Children didn't leave the side of mothers until age 6, and slept in her bed until much older. When children did leave the side of mothers, they didn't leave the line of sight of parents. Respect for parents was a concept then, but such respect was based off of closeness to parents. Children were very close to mothers, snuggling with them in skin-on-skin format, soaking up the warmth and love of their others. This warmth was created during the first 6 years of a child's childhood. It translated onto fathers, who encouraged children in their religious education, and otherwise stood guard for the family, carrying a rod and a staff to beat intruders (NOT children or wives) with.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!