Teaching sexual purity to children - without punishment or shaming

Many parents in America still want to teach the old fashioned teaching of sexual purity to children. Then, you have a few parents on the political and social left who have given up on teaching the doctrine of sexual purity to their children, allowing children to sexually relate to one another outside of marriage. Sexual purity, for purposes of this post, is the avoidance of sexual interaction with another person outside of marriage.

The Bible clearly teaches that children remain virgins until marriage. See 1 Corinthians 6:18 KJV:

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and most literally translates as "outside of proper channels". Marriage, in biblical times, was a license for a man to have sexual relations with a woman. Any sex outside of marriage was seen then as a fraudulent marriage, meaning it was a marriage not licensed by the state. All sexual relations by a man towards a woman must take place within a lawfully-ordained marriage. Sexual relations outside of marriage was seen as a man defiling himself next to a woman, rendering himself unclean until the even. He could purify himself by turning away from that sinful way of life. Children were not exempted from this requirement, though they weren't held accountable for sexual transgressions until they came of age to be baptized, meaning when they became adults under the Law. 

The Greek root word translated "lust" and "inordinate affections" in the New Testament is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not to ordinary sexual desire, but to sexual desire to the point of taking the first steps to approach a woman out of wedlock for sexual purposes. Nowhere in the Bible is masturbation even mentioned legitimately, with Onan's actual sin being refusing to inherit his brother's wife. When a sexual approach was perceived by a woman, it was seen as fornication. God does not celebrate masturbatory fantasies, but understands that man has a flawed nature, and allows man to blow off steam masturbating when a woman isn't around to please him.

Above mentioned is the ethics of sexual relations that should be taught to children. Teaching sexual purity to children through punishment or controlling demeanor is prohibited in the Bible. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child in an exchange, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any form of punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and receiving many warnings that their parenting habits were in violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up the Law for a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, much like most Jews of his time, including presumably the writers of all 88 books of the Bible. Paul was advocating for the rights of children growing up in Greek and Roman Christian homes of the time not to be punished or abused. Most of the time, children were punished for impurity offenses. Girls were spanked on the bare bottom for sexual impurity, as a purification ritual as part of the Greco-Roman pagan culture. Greek and Roman Christians were bringing that pagan custom into the church, and Paul would have none of it. 

Children played freely in biblical times, albeit with supervision. Many of the games were high-risk by today's standards, and sexualized in nature. One such game was "marriage", where children role-played a Jewish wedding. For some background knowledge, children wore no clothing in biblical times until adulthood. Most of the time, to simulate the consummation, children simply embraced each other. Sometimes, the boy wanted to penetrate, in which case the parents of the boy swooped in and separated the two. The two children were then redirected to solo masturbation, separately. The children were reassured that they would get to have sex later on in life, warmly encouraging the good lesson of delayed gratification. 

Pro-social separation techniques were used to deal with preventing children from interacting sexually, especially when a boy and a girl wanted to play together. The first step was pro-social supervision, meaning parents were always there when a child of the opposite sex was over to play. If the children went into the back rooms of the house, they were called out of that area, so parents could see what they were doing, including what they were playing. If the children started to interact sexually, they were separated, usually with the guest child being sent home. The parents of the guest child would not punish the child, but would reassure them that they would get what they wanted eventually, and were redirected towards masturbation.

Another tenet of instructing children in sexual purity was pro-social redirection, namely redirection of sexual behavior to masturbation. Masturbation was not stigmatized in biblical times like it was today, and children as young as 3 masturbated without shame. It got to the point where they didn't need a partner to pleasure them, because they could just pleasure themselves and have whatever they want in fantasy. When children interacted with each other sexually, they were first separated, then both were redirected to masturbation. The idea was to keep sexual expression in children at the masturbation level until they are married, when they can re-channel those desires towards their spouse and their spouse only. 

Childhood was not seen as pure and innocent, in the restricted way that modern society sees childhood. Children were simply seen as little people, and it was clearly acknowledged in society that children had a sex drive of their own, and did from the time of infancy. Children were expected to explore their sexuality, but in a solitary way through masturbation. Children, even then, knew not to have sex with each other. They tried, but parents or other adults were always there to stop the interaction, and redirect the children to masturbation. Children in biblical times were breastfed until age 3, when they were weaned off of mother's milk, and the reason behind this probably was to allow for masturbation, which redirected them away from sexually interacting with each other most times. A child in biblical times knew that if they liked their sister, brother, cousin, or other same-age peer, they could simply have a sexual fantasy about them through masturbation, which encapsulated the sexuality of children in biblical times, putting it totally under their control. If that didn't work, adults were always around to supervise children.

Some children were homosexual in terms of sexual preference, and that was noted from very early on. The Bible nowhere says that sexual thoughts about the same sex are unacceptable or sinful, nor did the ancients in biblical times frown on mere homosexual desire alone. It was homosexual behavior that was prohibited, in all its forms. Gay children then were simply encouraged to be celibate, and were told they had the gift of celibacy. Children were allowed to masturbate to thoughts of their same-sex friends, but they weren't allowed to sexually interact with their same-sex friends.

All sexual purity, in the Bible, means for children is that they are not allowed to have contact with each other sexually. If they approach each other, they should be separated and allowed to blow off steam using masturbation. There is really no excuse in modern times for a child being sexually active. Just be there to supervise when your child's boyfriend or girlfriend is over, and then nothing will happen. Allow for them then to masturbate after the visit to discharge any excess attraction to their paramour so they don't feel the need to approach their boyfriend or girlfriend for sexual purposes. 

Children should remain virgins until they are married, just as was the tradition in biblical times. Christ died and Rose because God chose Israel for it's values, with the good news of Jesus Christ leading to spreading of Judeo-Christian values around the world. Part of those values is that a child remain a virgin until marriage. Ancient Israel was a purity society, with sexual purity being central to their values. God prefers the values of Israel as a nation best, and the Bible serves to lift up Judeo-Christian values from Ancient Israel, and spread them throughout the world, especially their sexual purity values.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!