How attachment parenting is the most time-honored way to get children to listen

Many parents want a quick fix to change their child's behavior, and change it for the better. Most parents want to be listened to by their children. Most parents go straight to punitive methods, claiming that they are "time-honored", and thus okay to use. The fact of the matter is that attachment parenting is, in fact, the most time-honored method of dealing with children, predating punitive parenting by ions. It was the way of the ancients, with this including biblical parents as well.

Attachment parenting is ordained by God in the Bible. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children should rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This refers to listening to parents, from a secure, restful place. When attachment parenting is used, namely skin-on-skin comforting strategies, children automatically and naturally listen to the instructions of parents, and when they don't, they aren't ready for instructions of that magnitude. There is no room at the inn for defiance in an attachment parenting home, and this is because children want to listen and are motivated to heed the instruction of parents at the instinctual level. Children just go along with whatever you do or say, not questioning any of it, trusting that you as the parent know what is best for them. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child in an exchange, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any form of punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and after many warnings that such conduct as a parent was in violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this historical legal context to a group of Greek Christians that brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. The Early Christians had no such parenting custom, as the Early Christians instead practiced attachment parenting. Ancient Israel was one of the first nations to prohibit all punitive parenting measures, including corporal punishment. Sweden is simply the first nation in modern times to prohibit punitive parenting measures. The Early Christians excommunicated punitive parents on grounds of entitlement leading to theft. 

Mothers, in biblical times, were primarily charged with the care and protection of children. Mothers did not get children to listen by way of spanking or punishment, but instead by way of attachment parenting measures, especially skin-on-skin comforting strategies. Children did not wear clothing at all, and mothers only wore clothing when out and about outside the home. Children and mothers co-snuggled and co-mingled by day, and co-slept by night, all in skin-on-skin format. This formed a secure, close parent-child bond that would last a lifetime. Respect for parents was a concept in biblical times, but such respect was based on closeness, not fear of punishment.

Secure attachment affects how children listen to parents, and by extension, other adults. The closeness and intimacy between parent and child often found in attachment parenting homes automatically leads to an adaptive response. This includes children listening in an obedient way, going the way of their parents, and also go along with parents in the moment. Part of secure attachment to parents is looking up to them. True biblical obedience is a warm fondness of parents that leads to automatically listening to them, without questioning their motives, trusting that their motives are pure and righteous, not ever doubting the motives of parents when they give instructions. 

Imparting instructions to children should not involve expectations that the child listen. Obedience is the child's choice, to the degree the child is capable of obeying, and parents should focus on providing in a way that facilitates obedience. When giving instructions, parents should be mindful that children generally do not fail to listen simply because they are defiant. They may not understand what is being asked of them, and may not be able to carry out instructions, due to immature brain development. When a child does not listen the first time, righteously assume that the child does not understand the instructions given, and either do it for them or keep them safe, or else both, depending on what is relevant to the situation at hand. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!