Crying: Why it is not bad behavior in children

All parents have to deal with crying every now and then. Most parents think that crying in children is bad behavior. This is a common mistake that parents make, thinking their child is trying to manipulate them or undermine them by crying. The fact of the matter is that children cry for a reason - they need love! They are crying out loud for a vulnerable need. So why not give them what they need?

Attachment parenting is the solution for crying, and is commanded, in some form, in the Bible. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers are to rest in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to ensure obedience by giving children a warm and loving upbringing, winning over the hearts of their children. When attachment parenting strategies such as skin-on-skin comfort is used, children listen to parents instinctively, going along with whatever their parents tell them to do, and going wherever parents go in the house. True biblical obedience is not based on fear of parents, but on warm fondness to parents, where children tag along with parents, going along with whatever they do, wherever they do, ranging next to parents. This is a result of a parent surrendering and submitting to children completely, as the child's enemy, just as mankind is the enemy of God and is to be subservient as such. Parents are to be subservient to the child's every vulnerable need.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child in an exchange, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the original context of the time, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and after many warnings that their parenting habits were out of compliance with the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this historical legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such custom existed among the Early Christians, as the Early Christians practiced attachment parenting. The Early Christians were persecuted largely due to their parenting values, which were "soft" on children by the Greco-Roman standard.

Mothers, in biblical times, were the adults primarily charged with the care and protection of children. When children cried, mothers responded with skin-on-skin comforting strategies, usually skin-on-skin co-snuggling, but also skin-on-skin co-mingling and co-sleeping. Children never wore any clothing until adulthood, and mothers only wore clothing outside the home. When children were upset, mothers placed children on their bosom, snuggling next to them in skin-on-skin format. Children of all ages, when they cried, were treated just as how most parents in modern times treat a crying infant. The results? Children never left the side of children until age 6, and even if children were not at their mother's side, they never left her line of sight.

Mammary closeness is what ultimately solves the predicament of a crying child. Mothers in biblical times would place their children on their bosom when they cried, and soothe them with skin-on-skin co-snuggling. There is something about placing your child in your bosom, and soothing your child in that tense, that leads to cooperation and compliance to parents. Mammary closeness, when a child is crying, should stop the tears within 1-2 minutes, in which case you can then talk to your child about what was wrong.

Parents did not get angry with children over their crying or upsets, but instead calmly and reassuringly responded to the upsets of their child. Parents in biblical times had no parent anger towards their child, and having parent anger towards one's child was seen as being a viper or a monster towards children, with such adults being seen as a danger to children merely because they could get angry at a child. Most parents in biblical times simply worried about their children, and were motivated by that.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!