Why self-esteem is irrelevant in Christian attachment parenting

Many child advocates support the concept of self-esteem, and other parents believe that children should be punished so that they can "feel bad" and so "their sinful will can be broken". It is not a sin to have a will of your own - original sin has to do more with wanting things. My view is that it is not good, as a parent, to take the belief that you are a good parent. I oppose punishments for children, but at the same time also oppose children telling themselves all of the time that they are a good person. 

It says in Romans 3:9-12 KJV:

What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin; As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There are none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

These are commandments given directly to the Romans by the Apostle Paul that were divinely inspired, but they allude to something we can all as fallen adults relate to - our depraved and entitled sin nature. No human being is good in the eyes of God. The believing kind of human is more favorable to God, but He hates us all, to the point of non-existence. All human beings are wicked and evil, and are deserving of DEATH and PUNISHMENT merely for existing, but especially adults. Children get a break because they are learning about the facts of life, meaning God excuses their existence, but once you are an adult, you should know better.

Self-esteem is not a Judeo-Christian value, and thus should not be taught to most children. Some children have extra baggage that may necessitate some loving encouragement, but children should not come out of it telling themselves all of the time "I am a good person". When you say to yourself "I am a good person", you start demanding things and expecting things to go your way all the time, and "I am a good person" then becomes an excuse for entitlement.

I have no self-esteem, and neither should any adult in relation to children. Children become egotistical when they have a parent imposing their adult ego onto them. So, we as adults should work on our entitlement alongside our children, meaning instead of punishing children for entitled behavior, YOU as the parent simply should not act in an entitled way, around them or towards them. The idea is not to strive not to want anything of the world, knowing you will never get there. When you start telling yourself how wicked and evil you are, then taking the attitude that you are entitled to nothing, you start being grateful for what you have, and then, you feel better. I myself believe that I am not entitled to anything in life, including from a child. I can pat myself on the back when I do the right thing, but I don't need constant praise to do the right thing. I am not entitled to praise for being a good person, but when someone tells me I am a good person, I am grateful (usually in a denying way). 

Self-esteem is putting yourself first in life, as "esteem" means prioritize in a prideful way. A parent should be proud of their child, not themselves as a parent. Loving your child means esteeming them, not you, in a way that models putting others first. When you put yourself first, you open the door to demanding things from others, and justifying that entitlement with the fact that you put yourself first. The idea in life is to put yourself last, and others first, with children being esteemed as the vert forefront of our priorities as adults. It is not good to feel good about yourself, as there is nothing inherently good about any human being. People can become good people by working at it. God excuses children because they are still learning about Him and His Laws, but God otherwise hates mankind with a vengeance, meaning God will get His vengeance on the last day, and on the last day of every unsaved human being, and God foreknew from the very beginning who would be saved and who would be unsaved.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés), and refers to, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, this Greek word refers to the slightest of unattainable want. It is not good to want anything in life, but we all want something as flawed and entitled human beings, so it is good to ask politely and accept the word "no". If something you want will lead to a temper tantrum upon hearing the word "no", avoid that want at all costs, and don't want it. Want is the core of our depraved and entitled sin nature. It is okay if a child has their own will, as that is just how children are, no matter how much you try to control them. But, children can learn to want things less in the long run by seeing a trusted and liked adult want things less, and then with children wanting to be like them. Ultimately, it is not okay for YOU to want things in life if you want to impart that lesson to your child - children can see right through hypocrisy, and they listen to none of it.

It says in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse is defined, under biblical law, as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the context in which it was given, as prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Patrias potestas is translated as "power to the father" or "power to the parent", and refers to the right of a male head of household, under Greco-Roman law, to use force to police his family as he saw fit. No analogous law existed under Judeo-Christian law. Punitive parents, in the Old Testament, were put to death by way of bloodletting for punishing children too many times, and having issued to them too many warnings that they had to stop their punitive habits and use attachment parenting methods. Paul was lifting up this context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such custom existed in the Early Church, and corporal punishment was only legal in the Old Testament as a sentence for crime for adult descendants. 

Punishing children doesn't lead to humility, but to self-loathing. A humble person can pat themselves on the back privately (I can pat myself on the back after accomplishing something I've worked for), but need no praise whatsoever for simply doing the right thing. Self-loathing is where you literally believe that you deserved to punished - when no adult has that right under biblical law. When children are brought up around adults who don't demand praise, and understate their accomplishments, learn to behave that way on the level of instinct. I had to learn to behave that way, due to my liberal upbringing from authoritative parents. Children should be encouraged to be humble, not proud or boastful, and that starts with YOU as a parent not exhibiting those behaviors around your child. The ideal state of a human being is pro-social self-loathing, where the person hates themselves enough not to impose want or demands on others, including children. Progress as a fallen human being should be akin to an hourglass, meaning you feel stretched thin, but you end up just feeling grounded.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!