Mutual submission: Understanding God's order of the family

Many parents in conservative Christian churches prefer to go by God's order for the family. The belief among many Christians is that there is a certain hierarchy to the family. Most Christian parents agree that wives deserve to be served and pleased, but most still believe children should please their parents. The fact of the matter is that mutual submission is God's order of the family, including in parenting. The burden of proof in this mutual submission relationship is on the parents, not the child.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), which refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children safely and securely resting in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, self-crucifying themselves to serve a Godhead that is children, with children resting in the self-sacrifice and self-crucifixion of parents. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over the good graces of children, and children rest in the love and good works of parents. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Judeo-Christian culture. In Ancient Israel, attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law. In the Early Church, attachment parenting was mandated under church ordinance. This Greek word lifts up the attachment parenting context, making it relevant for all.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the context in which it was given, as a prohibition on all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Patrias potestas translates to "power to the father" or else "power to the parent" and refers to a Greco-Roman legal defense that allowed fathers to use force to police their homes as they saw fit. No analogous law existed under Judeo-Christian law, as the Law forbade any punishment of a child. Punitive parents, in the Old Testament, were put to death by way of bloodletting, if they punished their child enough times, with parents being issued many warnings by extended family before being put to death by way of being hung bloody like livestock. The Apostle Paul was lifting up this legal context, convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who used spankings and whippings to beat their children into submission. No such custom existed in Judeo-Christian society then.

God's order of the family, as a moral legal order, does not command that wives or children be kept down. Man is the head of the household, and provides for his wife, and wives/mothers provide for children. Mothers nurture children up close, and fathers from afar. Another way to look at family hierarchy is in terms of protection. Mothers protect children, including from fathers, and fathers protect the mother.

Ancient Judeo-Christian society was a child worshipping society, meaning the national parenting of the Ancient Jewish people was one where children were deified in the form of pro-social deification and pro-social child worship. Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God, with parents being struck with reverent fear and terror for their children's every vulnerable need. Parents are to win over their child as the enemy of their children, just as mankind is the enemy of God and is to win over God's good graces by serving His Kingdom. Children are emblematic of God and His Authority on earth, and parents are to serve their children just as Christ serves God, with children being the "least of these". Children could give lawful and binding orders towards parents, bossing them around, with parents serving children like waitstaff. See Matt. 25:31-46.  

Parents and children are to submit to each other, with the burden of proof falling on parents. Parents are to give to their children without receiving anything in return, meaning everything they need, and not just the needs that parents "feel like" meeting. Parents, if they give children everything they need - as judged by everything they want - can possibly expect their children to be more cooperative, at least once they reach young adulthood.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!