"Back talk": Why children are allowed to talk back to adults in the Bible

Many parents do not want their children talking back to them. By "talking back", they mean any opposition to their so-called "authority" over their children. Most parents in America do not allow their children to talk back or oppose them, to the point that they are not allowed to have an opinion. The fact of the matter is that not only are children allowed to talk back in the Bible, but that parents do not have the right to question the expressed needs of a child, lest they talk back to their child.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), which refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with parents serving a Godhead which is children, and with children resting in that sacrifice. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over the good graces of their children, with children resting safely and securely in parents, with children being venerated as extensions of God on earth. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Judeo-Christian society. In Ancient Israel, attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law. In the Early Church, attachment parenting was mandated by church ordinance. This Greek word lifts up the attachment parenting context of the Bible.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the context in which it was given, as a prohibition on all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. Patrias potestas translates to "power to the father" or else "power to the parent", and refers to a legal defense under Greco-Roman law that allowed for fathers to use as much force as they see fit to police their homes. No analogous law existed under Jewish law, as punishing a child was prohibited under the Law. Punitive parents, in the Old Testament, were put to death by way of bloodletting for punishing their children too many times, being given many warnings before being charged with kidnapping. Kidnapping, under biblical law, involved any form of hostage taking - punishing your child was seen as taking them hostage over things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this moral legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. The teaching of "biblical spanking" does not come from the Bible, but a mistranslation of Scripture into Latin, in order to pander to European pagan cultures who beat and whipped their children into submission. No such custom existed in the biblical context.

The national parenting of Ancient Judeo-Christian society was a special, distinct form of attachment parenting where children were deified, in the form of pro-social deification and pro-social child worship. Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God, being emblematic of God and His Authority on earth, striking parents into reverent fear and terror of their child's every self-advocated need. Children then could issue lawful and binding summonses to their parents to assert their every self-advocated need. The every vulnerable need of a child was seen as Divine Law, with children having the Divine Right to demand and self-advocate their every vulnerable need, usually through crying. Children had the right even to take their parents to court, in which case the case was already decided in favor of the child plaintiff. See Matt. 25:31-46.

I myself allow children to talk back to me, and even allow them to boss me around. They tell me what they need of me, and I give them what they need, to the best of my ability. I am one to not ever get angry at a child - it is just so cruel and heartless to get angry with a child, to the point where I am reverently afraid of getting angry with a child. Adults in biblical times never got angry with their children, as such anger is learned through experiencing punishment as a child and believing you deserved it. In Ancient Jewish society, the message to children was clear that they didn't deserve any form of punishment or harshness, and so children who were punished by their parents rebelled immediately. I myself am that kind of adult. I can set limits, but I can't bring myself ever to back it up with any punishment. I just accept that I cannot control a child, and then I allow for them to control me to get their needs met. In Ancient Jewish culture, children bossed their parents around, sometimes shouting orders in their face, and parents had to comply, or else their child would break them down and make them comply and give them what they wanted. Parents very rarely said "no", and only said it on a rare occasion where it was unsafe, sinful, and where there could be no compromise to make it right. I myself can say "no" to a child, but choose to just let them boss me around most of the time, with me rarely refusing to carry orders. If a police officer tells you to do something wrong or unworkable, you have the right to disobey here in Pennsylvania. The same goes for civil disobedience of a child's orders. This form of attachment towards children is called policing attachment, meaning children police for their needs to be met. I let children police me and order me around - they know they can get away with being forcefully assertive, and they can get away with it with me, and so I just let them.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!