Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior in children

Many parents think that children should not cry, or should not cry all of the time, as crying all of the time is "bad behavior". Children are quite often punished for crying, particularly when they seemingly cry for no reason at all. The fact of the matter is that children have the right to their emotions, and thus have the right to cry.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), which refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, serving a Godhead which is children. Parents are to sacrifice for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, self-crucifying themselves for their children, with children resting safely and securely in the sacrifice of parents. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over the good graces of children, and children rest in the good works and love of parents. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church. In Ancient Israel, attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law. In the Early Christian church communities, attachment parenting was mandated under church ordinance. This Greek word lifted up the attachment parenting context, making it relevant to all.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the context in which it was given, as a prohibition on all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Patrias potestas translates to "power to the father" or else "power to the parent", and refers to a legal defense under Greco-Roman law that allowed for fathers to police their homes as they saw fit. No analogous defense existed in Judeo-Christian law. Punitive parents, in the Old Testament, were put to death by way of bloodletting for punishing their children too many times. Parents were given many warnings beforehand, and were whipped with 40 minus 1 lashes as a final warning, before being put to death by being hung bloody like livestock. Paul was lifting up this context to the Colossian church, warning Greek Christians who spanked and whipped their children that such was prohibited under Judeo-Christian law, and that the only way was loving your child, and being an attached parent to them.

All children cry for the same reason an infant cries - they want love! So, why not give a child love by listening to and validating their tears. Children do not cry to "undermine my authority" or to "get under my skin" - they cry because they have a vulnerable need that has to be met. The idea is to treat a child's every cry like an infant crying - diagnose the cry, then meet the need that the cry self-advocates. If they cry seemingly for no reason, they surely want something, and that want is for attention - so why not give them loving attention?

Children who cry, when mothers are around, should be held to the bosom of mothers. Some women wear shirts and tops with low necklines not to please their husband or other men, but in order to please their child who is crying. This setup gives the child skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy with parents, and usually ends crying fits in an elapsed time of 1-2 minutes. This is how mothers in Ancient Judeo-Christian culture reassured their crying children. They didn't punish their children with spanking or time-out, but instead listened to and validated their child's upset, much like a mother in our culture would (or should) listen to a baby cry and reassure the baby. Usually, mothers hold the baby close to their bosom. This can be done with children of all ages, in fact, at least by holding them head first. It is a quick and natural remedy to soothe a crying child.

Fathers should nurture more from a distance, and at the very most - with maternal permission - hold the child over their shoulder, with, in the case of girls, hair being stroked if it does not inflame sexual passions. Fathers, in attachment parenting homes, often develop parent attraction for their own child, which usually is simply a sexualized motivator for them to engage in normal nurturing behaviors appropriate for their gender role as adult men. Fathers, like mothers, should reassure children with the phrase "I'm here". In a father, reassurance should appear more frantic, in a submissive way towards the child, but with the father diagnosing needs and bestowing them to the child when the mother gives permission for the father to have access to the child. In Ancient Judeo-Christian culture, fathers were not allowed contact with children except with the child's permission, which was overseen by the mother. The mother could veto any contact with the child whatsoever, because the interaction might be tainted by sexual entitlement. Mounting behavior in order to stop crying was prohibited under the Law, and was seen as deserving of death in the Old Testament by way of burning at the stake.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!