How to teach sexual purity to children - without punishment or shaming

Many parents want to impart the teaching of sexual purity onto children. Most American parents support values of sexual purity, to some degree. Most American adults support the core tenet of biblical sexual purity - which is no sex outside of marriage. Most parents believe that teaching values of sexual purity can't be done without punishment or shaming. Many attached parents have given up on the teaching of sexual purity, instead having a sex-positive conversation with their children. There are ways to teach sexual purity to children.

It says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 KJV:

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and translates most literally to "outside proper channels" in terms of sexual relations. Any sexual contact with another person outside of a lawfully-recognized marriage was seen as a fraudulent marriage, thus fornication. This fraudulent marriage defiled the offender to the core, rendering their body unclean until the even. Sex outside of marriage was a serious moral crime in the eyes of people in biblical times. Masturbation and sexual fantasy were not prohibited under the sex crime laws pursuant to the Law of Moses. Any sex crime under the Mosaic Law was considered fornication in the New Testament context. There is no Christian reason to prohibit a child from masturbation, as masturbation was not seen as a moral crime under the Law or Christian ordinance. In fact, church elders and deacons recommended masturbation for when there was no woman around to consummate a marriage with. 

"Lust", in the New Testament, is denoted by the Greek root word επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and does not refer to ordinary sexual desire, but something more gutteral. It refers to sexual desire to the point of taking the first steps to approach a woman. If your child isn't going up to classmates for sexual favors, with the intent to procure sexual favors from said classmate, you have nothing to worry about as a parent. If they want to blow off steam by masturbating, let them.

Punishing a child for anything is prohibited under biblical law. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the context in which it was given, as a prohibition on all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Patrias potestas translates to "power to the father" or "power to the parent" and refers to the right of a father under Greco-Roman law to use force to police his home as he saw fit. There was no analogous law under Judeo-Christian law. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by bloodletting for punishing their children too many times, after receiving many warnings that such parenting was unlawful. Sweden was the first country in MODERN times to ban punitive parenting. Ancient Israel was one of the first societies in the ancient world that prohibited all forms of punishment, including any physical or mental punishment, with this ban being handed down by God. Paul was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christians that brought their pagan customs of spanking and punishment into the church, rebuking them for their punitive parenting habits. 

Parents in biblical times dealt with children who were aware of their sex drive from a very young age. Most Jewish children, including those in Christian churches, started masturbating at around age 3, when they were weaned, and did so with the intent to release sexual fantasies. Sometimes, two children would try to have sex with each other. Children were supervised at all times, at least by their mother, and so children were simply redirected to masturbation when they tried to couple up in sex. 

The play of children in the biblical context was very sexualized, and high-risk in nature. The most high-risk of games played then was "marriage". Children role-played a marriage ceremony, and then usually embraced to role-play the consummation. Most children were too shy and skiddish to have sex with another child, due to the strong teaching of sexual purity, especially among Christian parents. Some boys did attempt to penetrate a girl, in which case the two were separated by an adult. They were then simply reassured "you'll be able to do that someday, with a spouse you love". 

Parents in the biblical context were the most non-shaming parents imaginable on sexual issues. They just set a clear boundary that children not have sex until they are an adult, and even then, only with their spouse. Apart from that, thoughts were free, and hands were free. Parents then used encouragement to redirect children away from sexual activity. Also, children were inclined then not to hide their sexual side from their parents, as children were never punished for their sexuality in that culture. Parents in the biblical context had no concept of parent anger, meaning parents in biblical times had no parent anger. They toppled over to their children's demands, but were firm in a gentle way about abstinence and sexual purity. Parents in biblical times simply redirected children away from sexual relations with other children, and protected them from adult predators.

Sexual purity, in the biblical sense, can be understood in terms of pathogens. When you have sex with too many partners, due to being young and dumb, you get a disease of some sort. So, why not stick to one partner - your spouse. Everything just becomes simpler to understand, including sexual boundaries, once you stick to your spouse for your every sexual need. It just isn't clean or sanitary to be able to just touch anyone sexually. Stick to a spouse, or else not at all.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!