"Honor parents": Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents demand respect from their children. The Fifth Commandment is often used as an excuse for demanding respect from children. Many parents use the Fifth Commandment as an excuse for demanding respect from their children. The fact of the matter is that the Fifth Commandment has a narrow application today, and was intended as a prohibition on elder abuse.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This refers, in context, to elder abuse. All 613 Commandments of the Law of Moses have basis in the first 10 of those commandments, including the parent protection laws. "Do not strike a parent" means do not repeatedly beat your parents, and "do not curse your parents" means do not subject your parents to airborne gaslighting. Parents who were abused by their children in Ancient Israel weren't believed by broader society, and were blamed for their own abuse. Parents who were repeatedly beaten by their own children were told "the child must have learned it from somewhere". In Ancient Israelite society, it was frowned upon to testify in court against your own child. God ordained the parent protection laws, including the Fifth Commandment, in order to curb elder abuse in Ancient Israel.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return from parents, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to submit to and surrender to. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture. In Ancient Israel, attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law. In the Early Church, attachment parenting was mandated under church ordinance.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in context, as a prohibition on all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. The Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law against punitive parenting in order to educate Greek Christian parents on the ordinances of the church. Patrias potestas translates to "power to the father" or "power to the parent", and was a Greco-Roman legal defense that allowed for fathers to enforce law in their home as they saw fit. There was no such law under Jewish law, including Christian ordinance. Punitive parents, in the Old Testament, were put to death by way of bloodletting if they punished their children too many times. They were put to death for kidnapping, which was understood by the religious authorities then as any damages that involved hostage taking - punishing a child was seen as holding them hostage for a misdeed of theirs. Spanking and punishment was a Greco-Roman tradition in those times, not a Christian or Jewish tradition.

The national parenting of the Ancient Jewish people was a special, distinct form of attachment parenting that deified children. Children were worshipped and venerated then as extensions of God and His Authority on earth, with parents being struck with reverent fear and terror for their child's every vulnerable need/want, being compelled in the Lord to surrender and submit to children and their every vulnerable need, as their enemy, just as mankind is the enemy of God and is subservient to Him as such. Children could issue lawful and binding orders to their parents, taking them to court, and by the time children first took their parents to court, it had already been decided in the favor of the child. The every self-advocated want/need of children was seen as a lawful and binding summonses, with the every cry and demand of children being Divine Law.

How does this deified form of parenting pan out in practice? Children went naked wherever they went. Women also went naked, in the family home, as a means to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (for the first 2 years) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy (especially during co-sleeping). By day, children ranged beside their mothers, sometimes clinging to them. By night, children slept next to mothers, guarded from all threats external and domestic, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Fathers also nurtured their children, but from afar, usually by encouraging their religious vocation. Fathers spoke to their children on formal terms, until children invited him to "break the ice" and engage in casual conversation. This structure was because most adult men were pedophiles towards their children then, but in the abstinent format. Sexual abuse then was seen as wicked and evil, as even the ancients had a concept of child sexual abuse, but adult men did have connotational attractions to their children, and usually idealized their children in a sexualized, romanticized way. 

The Fifth Commandment, for a minor or dependent child, simply means that parents are the head of children, and should be there to provide for children and surrender to their every vulnerable need. Respect in any parent-child relationship is earned, with the burden of proof falling on the parents at all times. Otherwise, the commandment states to treat parents with basic respect and not abuse them in any way, meaning the Fifth Commandment is ultimately a ban on elder abuse.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!